


CHEATER

by GottaFlyAway



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: 19-Year-Old Harry, 22 years old harry, Accidental Pregnancy, Cheating Harry, Cheating Zayn, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, M/M, Minor Perrie Edwards/Zayn Malik, Mpreg Harry, Sleepy Cuddles, larry stylinson - Freeform, one direction - Freeform, zarry stylik
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-22 22:19:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7456015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GottaFlyAway/pseuds/GottaFlyAway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~I didn't want to have anything to do with Zayn, I even thought I'd never see him again, but now I'm carrying his child... ~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for grammar mistakes if there's any

Chapter 1.  
  
*  
  
Me and Zayn have been friends since... I don't even remember. We always were.  
  
Our moms knew each other before we were born. We were meant to be friends, I think. I spent all my childhood with Zayn by my side.  
  
All the most important and happy moments in my life we've shared together. As well as the unpleasant. We often got in trouble together, mostly because of Zane, he just can't sit still.  
  
But the older we got, the more I questioned myself about my true feelings towards him. That's right, I have a life-long crush on him. Crushes suck, especially when they're 19 years old.  
  
You always have to think about what you are doing and saying. Does that sound too suspicious, or if you cross the line of your friendship. But Zayn doesn't pay much attention to it, just letting me do what I want. Another reason to adore him.  
  
  
*  
  
“Come on, Harry. You can do it, you got everything you need, okay? And I'm here for you.” Zayn smiled, pulling me into a hug. I nuzzled into his neck, feeling my palms getting sweaty because of all the nerves.  
  
“I dunno, Zayn... Maybe that wasn't a good idea. Look at all the people out there... What if something goes wrong?..”I pulled away from him, looking at the guy who was onstage right now. He seems so confident, unlike me.  
  
I never took vocal lessons, but all the members of my family, icluding Zayn, tried to convince me that I have a talent for singing. That's how I ended up on X-Factor. Thank God Zayn is here with me...  
  
“What can go wrong? You do have a talent, Harry. I've told you that a thousands of times by now, but you still don't believe it.”Zayn placed his hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me.  
  
“I believe it, I'm just nervous...” I sighed. My hands started shaking uncontrollably, as I heard the guy who was performing before me stopped singing. I think his name is Louis. “Zayn. I can't.” I said.  
  
“You go out there now and sing. And everything will be fine, you hear me? ”He caressed my back and I took a deep breath in.  
  
“Yeah. Okay.”I exhaled.  
  
I was called on the scene. I walked there on my shaky legs, stopping in the middle.  
  
“Nice to meet you, what's your name?” One of the judges asked.  
  
“I'm Harry Styles.”  
  
“Okay, Harry, how old are you?”  
  
“I'm nineteen.”  
  
“Tell me a little bit about you.”  
  
“I work in a bakery. And I'm going to college in September.”  
  
“Okay. What are you going to sing?”  
  
“Isn't she lovely by Stevie Wonder.”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
I started singing. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, if almost dying from anxiety you can count as a success. However, I didn't have to sing the whole song, just a piece, it made the whole thing easier.  
  
Two of them said 'yes' to me. I thanked them and quickly walked backstage. Zayn was waiting for me there, of course. He smiled, as I approached him, hugging him tightly.  
  
“You did it. And that was awesome.” He whispered into my hair.  
  
“Thank you for coming here with me.” I said, placing my chin on his shoulder.  
  
“Of course.”  
  
*  
  
When the show was over, we decided to go back to our hotel. Return bus was scheduled for the next morning at seven o'clock, so we had the whole evening in London to spend.  
  
Walking down the street, I looked at the buildings around us, the lights in the windows of each house shone amidst darkness, making the night a little brighter. I sighed softly. It felt so calm, knowing that I made it through the first stage, and I'm with Zayn alone in this city. At least for today. It made my heart feel somehow warm in my chest.  
  
I looked at Zayn, and then down, at his hand. What he would do if I take it? The only thought of it made my heart race. I didn't know how Zayn felt about me. Probably nothing, we've been friends forever and I don't want to ruin it, so I shook off that thought, shoving my hand into the pocket of my jeans.  
  
“So what's that surprise is all about?” I asked him, remembering that he promised to show me something once we get here.  
  
“You'll see.”Zayn smiled.  
  
“At least tell me where it is!” I pleaded playfully.  
  
“In our hotel.”He said. It made me even more anxious, we were almost there.  
  
*  
When we entered the hotel elevator, Zayn pressed the button of the sixth floor, which wasn't ours.  
  
“Where are we going?” I asked.  
  
“You'll see.”He smiled mysteriously.  
  
The elevator stopped and we ended up in a huge corridor with a red carpet, which looked exactly like the one on our floor. Zayn started walking towards one of the doors, and I followed him.  
  
He stopped at the door labeled '216' and knocked. I heard the quiet steps, and after a second door was opened by a girl. She looked young, and happy to see us. Or Zayn, at least.  
  
They hugged and Zayn turned to face me.  
  
“This is Perrie.” He started. “We met online a few months ago. So when you told me about X-Factor, I decided that we should meet here so I can introduce you two.” He smiled happily, but I already felt in my guts that something was wrong. Why do I need to meet her anyway?  
  
Zayn took a pause before countinue, “She's my girlfriend.” He finished.  
  
  
I looked at him with my eyes widely open. I tried to make myself smile, but I just couldn't. Even my heart stopped beating for a moment.  
  
“I...” Suddenly it was so hard to speak. “That is so great that you guys.... Together.” The words came out of my mouth unbearably hard. I looked at Zayn, then at his girlfriend. They looked so happy.... While I wanted to run home and cry into my pillow, but I couldn't let myself be such a selfish piece of shit. Zayn is so happy and I have to support him... And then I can come up with something and leave. But right now I have to be a good friend. I always was.  
  
Awkward silence became too awkward, so Perrie spoke, “Let's go inside, guys.” She took Zayn's hand and led him inside, leaving me no choice but to follow them.  
  
Her room looked exactly like ours, but it was designed for one person. I tried to look everywhere but at them, which wasn't easy, this room is so damn small.  
  
They were talking, hugging and flirting, while I just sat there, staring into space. Why am I even here?  
  
“Harry, you alright? You seem kinda off.” Zayn asked, once his girlfriend left to pick up the phone call, leaving us alone.  
  
“Yeah, I'm fine.” I said. “Really, I'm happy for you, I'm just tired...”I smiled weakly. I really was tired, so it wasn't a complete lie.  
  
“Maybe we should go to our room and get some sleep.” He said and I nodded.  
  
Once Perrie was back, Zayn told her that it's time for us to leave. She nodded, kissing his cheek goodbye, and we left.  
  
I felt sick going back to our room. Everything seemed so slow and annoying, and I just wanted some time alone.  
  
Zayn wasn't saying anything, I surely didn't either. I had nothing to say.  
  
In a complete silence we entered our room, I grabbed my stuff and went to the shower.  
  
Feeling the hot water running down my body, I relaxed, but it didn't help me to clear my head.  
  
What Am I gonna do now? It won't be the same with Zayn, not when his girlfriend will be around. Well, that was stupid of me thinking that something could be different. Zayn always liked girls, there weren't any doubts about that. I'm just a shy friend of his, and he likes to hang out and get in trouble with me, end of story. 

 

I touched the shower wall with my forehead. Damn, this thing is cold.  
  
“Harry? You okay there, man?” Zayn quietly knocked at the door, pulling me out of my thoughts.  
  
“Yeah, yeah! I'm... coming out.” I said, turning the water off.  
  
I wiped myself off with a towel, putting my boxers and a t-shirt on. When I left the bathroom, Zayn was sitting on his bed, smiling at the screen of his phone. I rolled my eyes, climbing on my bed and taking my book.  
  
I opened it on the last page I've read, which was the first one, cause I fucking hated this book but I needed it for college.  
  
Zayn put his phone down on the nightstand, walking over to me and sitting down on the edge of my bed. I ignored him, trying to focus on whatever this book had in it.  
  
“What's wrong?” He asked quietly.  
  
“Nothing.” I shook my head. Well, if it REALLY was nothing, I would've act like that. I mentally cursed myself for being so bad at hiding my feelings.  
  
“Harry. I'm not blind, is something bothers you, mate?”He jumped up and landed on the bed next to me, resting his cheek on the back of his hand.  
  
“It's nothing, okay? Just tired.” I sighed, getting annoyed.  
  
“Why are you reading this?” He asked, touching my book with his finger.  
  
“I like it.” I lied.  
  
“Liar. I know you hate it.” He said, taking a book away from me. No matter how hard I tried to fight against him, he took it away anyway, climmbing on my lap. I rolled my eyes at him, sighing.  
  
“So. What happened?” He raised an eyebrow at me. A dangerous thought ran through my head. What if I tell him? It always seemed so unreal, though I often imagined how I could've say that to him, but it was never in my plan to actually SAY it.  
  
“Nothi-” I started, but he cut me off, “I've already heard that. Now tell me the truth.”Now he seems serious, which isn't actually a bad thing for Zayn, but not right now. I'd rather be tickled to death or something like that than being right in front of the dicision of my entire life. Yeah, maybe I'm a little bit overreacting, but you got what I mean.  
  
“You gonna live with her now or something, right?”I asked, looking him into the eyes. He was a little bit surprised at my question, well, of course, I woud've been too.  
  
“Well, I dunno yet... Why the question?”He asked, looking at me as if I had something on my face.  
  
“It's nothing, forget it.” I tried to turn away, but it was kinda impossible with Zayn sitting on me. Goddammit.  
  
“No! What was this question for?” He leaned down, placing his hands on the both sides of me. Now I have nowhere to run. I wish I could just disappear right now. That would've been awesome.  
  
I swallowed hard, looking him in the eyes and then on his lips. His face was just a few inches away from mine, I could literally feel that we were breathing the same air.  
  
My heart stopped for a second as I lifted my face up to his, connecting our lips. I tightly closed my eyes, feeling my cheeks heating up.  
  
I pulled away a second later, letting my head fall back on the pillow and looking at Zayn, who was probably in shock, his expression was unreadable.  
  
I was waiting and hoping. Hoping that he won't get up and leave, hoping that at least he'll talk to me ever again.  
  
After a while of staring into each other's eyes, I couldn't handle this anymore. The tension was too hard.  
  
“I'm sorry.” I whispered in horror.  
  
He didn't say a word, just got up and went showering. I closed my eyes, hiding under the covers and wishing to fall asleep and to never wake up again.  
  
It's over. And that's my fault.  
  
***  
  
When I woke up the next morning, Zayn wasn't there, as well as all of his stuff. I don't know if that was for the worse or for the better.  
  
I reached out for my phone, checking time. 6:22 am.  
  
I still have time to pack up.  
  
*  
  
  
Zayn didn't come to the bus either. Maybe he decided to stay here? I can't believe that it's all went to pieces in just one second. The friendship that we've been creating for years, all of this was over because of one kiss. I felt horrible because of that.  
  
I sighed, leaning back in my seat and plugging my headphones in. But the music didn't last long, as I heard my phone buzzing. In the little corner of my heart I was hoping that it was him. That he was calling to say that he was late or something. But it wasn't him. Instead, the phone screen showed me the message from unknown number.  
  
I read it through, processing wat it was about. The message said that some man saw me performing at X-Factor, some big guy, and he wants to sign a contract with me. It also said that I'm gonna receive a letter with a full information at my home address soon.  
  
That's my chance, and I'm not gonna let it pass by.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.  
  
*  
  
I went to Los Angeles right after our home received a letter. Mom was so happy, however, as my whole family. They kept hugging and kissing me, showering me with congratulations until I got on the plane. I tried to convince them that this is not the end, and the fact that some big guy saw my performance and choose me doesn't mean anything yet, but they are convinced in otherwise.   
  
I haven't seen Zayn since that day in London. He just disappeared. Well, let it remain with him. If a meeting with this guy from L.A. will go smoothly, my life would change, though I hardly believe it.   
  
*   
  
I looked out the window trying to see outside the plane at least something other than clouds. It's been a hour from take-off, but I was already bored, and there is still 11 hours.   
  
I found myself feeling helplessly alone without Zayn. We were so close, I never bothered about having someone else as friend.  
  
But now he's not here. I just need to fucking take it in already, forget, and let it go. It's nothing. It's in the past now.   
  
I decided that for myself. I thought it would be better this way, though the pain in my heart was so hard to ignore. It wasn't just a crush. He meant a lot more to me.  
  
*  
  
Once the flight was over, I took my luggage and headed for the stop location of all the taxis. Giving the a card of my hotel, he drove me right there. The city looked amazing, all the buildings, and parks, everything looked unusual to me.  
  
Once a taxi stopped, I gave the money to the taxist and climbed out of the car. I booked a room in one of the most inexpensive hotels in the city, but even this one looked prestigious.   
  
Taking the key of my room from the reception I went up to my floor, stepping into my room. It was the standard, nothing special. I put the suitcase on the floor, pulling out the letter from my pocket and reading it again.   
  
****__“ Dear Mr. Styles,  
  
I want to inform you that I saw your performance at X-Factor show, and to be completely honest, I was pleasantly surprised. Your voice is something special. That's exactly what we need.   
  
I want to make a contract with you, but to talk about it I would like personally, so come to L. A., I'll pay your for your flight.   
  
Hope to see you soon, Simon Cowell“  
  
Well, that's inspiring. Usually you can see situations like this one in the movies or something, that's why it's so hard to believe. Maybe I DO have a talent, and all I needed was just to put myself out there?  
  
I looked down at my suitcase, deciding that I need to take a shower.  
  
*   
  
After getting ready I received a message with the address of his office. It didn't say anything about what type of clothes I should wear, so I decided that white shirt and skinny black jeans will do it.  
  
*  
  
Saying that I was nervous would be a misundersatnding. I enetred a huge building, looking for the elevator. There were a few people besides me, but usually than larger and richer the building, than less people are in it.   
  
When the elevator doors opened, I stepped into it, pressing the button with a number of the floor I needed. After the elevator arrived at the place, I saw a big desk and a woman sitting behind it, she was dressed all in white. Hearing the steps she raised her head.   
  
"You came to Simon?" She asked. I nodded. "What is your name?"   
  
"Harry Styles." I said and she started to look for something in the computer. After a moment she said,"Go on, he's waiting for you."   
  
I went to the door, quietly opening it and peering inside. I saw a man sitting behind huge wooden table, apparently it was Simon. On either side of the table next to the walls were two sofas, one of them had a three guys sitting on it.   
  
I thought that I maybe a was on the wrong floor or building, when the man said, "Come on in, Harry. Sit down."   
  
I nodded, quetly walking in. I sat down on the sofa that was comletely empty, feeling uncomfortable. Why all these guys are here for?  
  
“I'm glad that you all came here. Now, I think it is my duty to introduce you. “ He said.  
  
I let myself stare at one of guys for a while, he seemed somehow familiar to me.  
  
“This is Niall, Louis and Liam. Guys, this is Harry." Simon said, looking at them and then at me. Louis. Of course. I saw him on the show, that's why he seems familiar. “You all know why you are here. Every one of you was performing at that X-Factor show, and here's what I have on mind. The four of you will have to form a group. We will now conduct the trial listening to how your voices sound together, but I think everything will be just perfect. You sign a contract with me, and I will promote you." He explained.   
  
I was unsure about all of this. We need to form a group? But I don't even know them. Judging by their behavior, they were more familiar with each other than with me.   
  
There was a silence, no one made a sound until Simon spoke again.   
  
“You don't have to say 'yes' right now. As long as it takes for you to decide, I'm ready to wait. But we have to try you guys right now.”  
  
“Okay.” Louis said and two other guys agreed with him. Then Simon looked at me.   
  
“I'll try.” I said and that was it.  
  
*  
  
After listening to us individually, and then folding it all together, Simon was delighted. He believed that we will have a huge success.  
  
After agreement on a new meeting in the same place three days later, he let us go.   
  
I had mixed feelings when I left his office. Could it be this simple? But it doesn't work that way, does it? I don't believe in such luck, it's just unreal, or so I thought.   
  
I walked out of the building, immersed deep into my thoughts. Suddenly, I heard someone calling me. I stopped and turned around. It was Louis.   
  
“I saw you on the show, you're Harry, right?” He asked, catching up with me. He was a bit shorter than me, but just a little, you almost can't see the difference.  
  
“Yeah, and you're Louis?”I asked, keep walking with him now beside me.  
  
“Yep. I guess we're connected now,huh?” He asked.  
  
“I guess. How do you feel about this whole group thing?” I asked him. He seems nice, and if we're going to be in the same group, perhaps I should establish a relationship with him.   
  
“I dunno. It seems like a big chance, you know?”  
  
“Yeah. I guess.”  
  
“Who knows, maybe this will work. At least for you, your voice is just great.” He said and I felt a smile creeping its way onto my face. Even though I never really thought so, his words made me believe in my own talent a little more.  
  
“Thank you. But I actually like your voice more. You're better at the high notes than me.”I said and he smiled.  
  
“I guess we can work together then.”  
  
*  
  
During the next three days I was hanging out with Louis a lot. He's actually a really nice guy to talk to and as a person in general.   
He told me a lot about his family, his six sisters and one brother. They weren't so rich so it was really important for Louis to sign this contract, so he could work and maybe make some money to help his family.   
  
I also met up with Niall and Liam. They were all just a great guys, and we laughed a lot and talked about all sorts of things, trying to get to know each other better.  
  
Three days later, the decision was made and we signed the contract with Simon. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

  * Chapter 3.  
  
*  
  
THREE YEARS LATER  
  
“Louis! You've been in this shower for a twenty minutes now, we're gonna be late on our concert!” I yelled to Louis through the bathroom door, trying to get him to hurry.  
  
While waiting for him to come out of the shower , I looked at myself in the mirror, fixing my bun.   
  
I heard my phone buzzing somewhere in a heap of clothes and blankets on the bed, but it was impossible to find it, and we didn't have time anyway.  
  
“Hey, baby. You okay?” Louis wrapped his arms around me from behind, tickling the back of my neck with his wet hot nose.  
  
“I'm awesome, why does so simple thing like showering taking you so long?”I replied, a little annoyed.  
  
“Maybe I just like to make you a little mad sometimes?” He said playfully, kissing my neck and letting me go.  
  
“You-”  
  
“I know.” He pecked my lips and ran to our bedroom, grabbing his pants and putting them on.  
  
*  
  
We arrived at the arena five minutes before the start of our concert. Niall and Liam were already there, and Liam was definitely unhappy with us.   
  
"Where were you so long?" He asked, trying to look more pissed but he was bad at it.   
  
"Louis was taking a shower." I said, putting on a ear microphone.   
  
Liam raised his eyebrow at me, probably thinking how childish me and Louis were.   
  
"Okay, guys, after 30 seconds we're coming out!" Niall ran into the room, holding a guitar. He was already excited and full ready.  
  
We took our microphones, running out onstage.  
  
“Hello London!” Liam shouted into his microphone, receiving the cheers of the fans in response.   
  
“It's so nice to be here with you tonight! Thank you all for coming, it means a lot to us, to see you amazing people here!” Louis said, pointing at me.  
  
“Let's begin!” I shouted out as loud as I could, as the music started playing and concert began.  
  
*  
  
After thanking everyone for coming for like tenth time today, we bowed and left the stage.  
  
I went to the room with my name on its door. Removing ear microphone, I undid my bun, letting the hair fall freely. It've grown quite long and ended below my shoulders by now. I like my hair this way, I don't want to cut it in the nearest future.  
  
Sitting down on my chair, I leaned my head back, closing my eyes.  
  
I heard my dressroom door quietly opened, as someone came in. I smiled weakly, guessing it was Louis, because who else it could be?  
  
He came up to me, leaning over me and leaving a kiss on my lips. I quietly murmured at the contact, running my fingers through his hair.   
  
“You okay?” He whispered against my lips.  
  
“Yeah, just tired.” I pecked him once more.  
  
“Wanna go out somewhere? Or maybe just go to our hotelroom and relax?”He bit my ear, making me shiver. I knew where this was going.  
  
“Louis.”I said in a warning tone.   
  
“Okay, okay. “ He said, pulling away from me. “Me and Liam are going to the bar, wanna come with us?”  
  
“No. You do?” I asked with my eyebrow raised. I don't like when he drinks alcohol, or smokes, which is a horrible habit of his.  
  
“Come on, Harry. You're not gonna be mad at me because of that, right?” He looked at me with eyes full of hope. I sighed, nodding.   
  
“I won't. Just... Be careful.” I said and he leaned in to kiss me.  
  
“Thank you.” He said and left.  
  
I guess I'm going to spend this night all by myself then.  
  
*  
  
After Louis and Liam left, I called a taxi and went to the hotel. This was my second trip to London, and the memories of my first visit didn't want to leave me, even though it's been three years.   
  
The taxi stopped, and I rapidly walked into the hotel. I walked over to the elevator, pressing the call button. I pulled out my phone, checking if there was any message from Louis, but there was nothing.   
  
You can be a world wide famous super star, but it still doesn't save you from feeling lonely. How ironic.  
  
The elevator arrived at my floor and the doors opened. I walked in, intending to press the button of my floor, when suddenly some guy ran into the cabin. He was hooded and his face was not visible.   
  
I tried not to look at him, though he stood very close. Soon the elevator stopped, I stepped out of it, turning right. I didn't have time to relaize what is happening, as that guy who was standing next to me a second ago, pressed me hardly against the wall, covering my mouth with his hand.   
  
I hurt my back, uttering a low moan and looking at the guy in front of me with wide eyes of a frightened deer.   
  
I still couldn't see his face, only his eyes were visible to me. They were dark brown colored and very beautiful, very deep, you could've drown in them.   
  
Holding my mouth with his one hand, he carefully took off his hood with the other. If he wasn't holding my jaw, it would've drop. It was Zayn. He looked much older, especially with that thick black beard of his, but it still was him.   
  
“Hi” He smiled warmly at me.   
  
At this point I had mixed feelings. On the one hand I wanted to kick him between the legs, and on the other hand I wanted to hug him and cry on his shoulder as I used to do before sometimes.   
  
Feeling that I won't scream, he carefully slid his hand down my face, letting it fall on his side. I looked at him in disbelief, unable to say anything.  
  
Suddenly, he cupped my face with his hands, crashing his lips onto mine. My breath hitched, as I kissed him back. It felt wonderful, he was so soft and gentle. Of course it wasn't my first kiss, I've kissed people before, but they weren't Zayn.  
  
Gently pulling my chin down, he opened my mouth and after running his tongue across my lower lip, he slid it inside. I couldn't hold back a moan that escaped my throat as he lifted me up, supporting me under my ass.  
  
He pulled away for a second, only to ask, “Which room is yours?”   
  
“Number 11.” I whispered, pulling him back into a kiss.  
  
Pulling out of the pocket of my jeans an electronic key, Zayn unlocked the door of my room, carrying me inside. Even before we reached the bed, he started unbuttoning my shirt as I held tightly onto his hair. He has dyed it in a grey color, which suited him perfectly.  
  
“Your hair is so beatiful...” I whispered, looking into his eyes when he lifted me up again, only now I was shirtless.  
  
“Yours is prettier.” He whispered back, laying me down on the bed. “As beautiful as everything else about you.” He spread my legs, now being between them and tilting his face closely to mine.   
  
He kissed me again, biting gently on my lower lip, as I reached out for the hem of his shirt, lifting it up.  
  
He pulled away, only to take his shirt and jeans off. I watched him carefully as he was undressing. He has changed, his body was now more muscular, his chest and arms were covered in tattoos.   
  
Once he undressed himself completely, he inzipped my fly, pulling my jeans down my legs. I was hard enough by then, and as soon as Zayn saw it, he chuckled, licking his lips.  
  
When all my clothes was on the floor, he moved higher, pecking my lips first and then sucking on my neck. I felt shivers running down my spine and low moans escape my mouth as he kept kissing and biting on my skin. I glitched his hair between my fingers, like if my life depended on it right now, receiving a groan from him as well.  
  
He ran his toungue across my whole bode to my V-line, finally reaching my sensetive spot. I let out a long and drawn-out moan when he took my cock in his hot mouth. Only its top at first, but swallowing it more and more every time later on.  
  
I wrapped my legs around his neck, holding his hair in my hands. He was jerking his head up and down so fast, I thought his neck could've break. Then he added his hand, wraooing it around me carefully, sharply reducing speed. Once I was so close to my release, he stopped. I opened my eyes to look at him as he lifted his head, changing position so now his dick was close to my entrance.   
  
He slowly slid one finger inside of me, curling and turning it, stretching me out. The second one followed right after.   
  
When he entered me with his dick, I couldn't hold it back anymore, and after a few thrusts I came, closing my eyes and letting my mouth open, feeling the hot liguid filling me from inside, as Zayn reached his release as well.  
  
I was laying on the bed, trying to catch my breath when I felt Zayn lays down next to me, covering as both with a blanket. I opened my eyes, to find him looking at me with a soft smile on his lips. I smiled back, as he crawled closer to kiss my lips.   
  
I wanted to say something, but I couldn't, I felt so sleepy.   
  
Placing my head on Zayn's chest, I quickly fell asleep.  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
  
I woke up, feeling someone touching my face. I lazily opened my eyes, to find Zayn staring at me. Then the memories of the last night became fresh in my mind again. I rubbed my eyes, looking at the celling.   
  
What the fuck was I thinking? That was stupid, that was... Fucking childish. I was overwhelmed and overreacted. And Zayn just took advantage of it.   
  
“You okay?” He asked, caressing my cheek.   
  
“No.” I covered my eyes with my hands, feeling ashamed of myself. “I'm not okay, and what happened yesterday was a mistake.” I said, standing up, but Zayn quickly pulled me back, climbing on top of me. “Let me go.” I said, looking at him with a mad expression. I know that what I'm doing now is basically the same thing he did with me three years ago, but he fucking deserves it.  
  
“No. Are you gonna just escape like that?” He asked, holding my wrists still on the both sides of my head.  
  
“Zayn, you don't understand! I have a boyfriend, and I'm not a fucking cheater! He's amazing and I don't wanna hurt him because of you!” I tried to escape from his grasp but he was stronger than me.   
  
“I had a girlfriend too when you kissed me.” He said it in a matter-of-fact tone.  
  
“I just kissed you, it's not the same thing as having sex!”I said as he just kept looking at me. Then he slowly leaned down, gently biting my neck. I couldn't help but feeeling shivers running down my spine and my heart starts beating faster.  
  
“Zayn....” I was half moaning, half warning him, as he kept moving down, to my collar bone. “Stop. It isn't right.” I tried to push him away, but my muscles suddenly felt too weak.  
  
Once he reached my chest, he stopped, lifting his face up to meet my eyes. He slowly rose to my face, biting and sucking my lower lip as my eyes shutted and my lips were slightly parted. He let go of my wrists, probably knowing that I won't resist anymore, because I really couldn't.   
  
Fucking cheater, I thought to myself, imagining Louis's face if he ever finds out. Goddammit...  
  
Using my now free hands, I clutched Zayn's hair with my fingers, holding him close. He lowly moaned into my mouth, as I bit his lip maybe a little bit too hard, but he doesn't seem so hurted by that, probably just more turned on.  
  
He grabbed me under my ass, lifting my lower body in the air. I didn't have time to notice or react properly as he entered me, causing me to almost scream.  
  
He started thrusting into me slowly at first, but quickly gathering the speed.   
  
  
  
  
My moans were probably heard on the first floor, but I didn't really care at the moment, feeling something familiar growing in my abdomen. I clinged onto Zayn's shoulders, feeling him coming inside of me and reaching my own release just a few seconds later.  
  
I fell back on the bed mattress, panting. Zayn laid down on top of me, resting his head on my chest.  
  
We were like that for I don't know how long, we probably just draft away for a thirty minutes or so.   
  
When I opened my eyes the second time this morning, I felt even more horrible. I crawled out from under Zayn, of course waking him up with my movements, but I had to get up, we had a flight back to L.A. today, and I couldn't be late.   
  
“Where are you going?” Zayn asked, staring at my ass while I was walking around the room, picking up my clothes.  
  
“I have a plane tonight.”I said, heading towards the bathroom door.  
  
“Can I join you?” He asked before I entered the bathroom.  
  
“No.” I cut off and closed the door of the bathroom on the lock.  
  
*  
  
When I was done with showering and stuff, I left the bathroom, finding Zayn in a sitting position on the bed, now fully clothed.  
  
I wiped my hair with a towel, looking at him. He watched something on his phone, not paying attention to me.   
  
“Where do you live now?” I asked, unexpectedly for my own self.  
  
He lifted his head, looking at me and smiling.  
  
“Right here.” He said.  
  
“You mean in London?”I hung the towel on the door rack to let it dry off.   
  
“Yep.” He nodded. “Come here.” He said softly, patting the spot next to him. I didn't argue this time, just quietly went over and sat down on the bed next to him.   
  
He smiled, climbing on the bed and sitting down behind me with his legs crossed in front of him.  
  
“What are you doing?” I carefully asked.  
  
“Your hair.” He said simply, taking some of my wet hair into his hands and separating it into three smaller strands.  
  
“You know how to braid? “ I asked, quiet surprised.  
  
“Yes.”He nodded.  
  
“How?”   
  
“I have three sisters, remember?”  
  
“Oh, yeah. Right.” I said and he chuckled. It's been three years, but I've already forgot everything about him.  
  
I sat there, patiently waiting for Zayn to finish whatever he was doing with my hair. It was a quiet plesant actually, just relaxing, feeling his fingers in my hair....  
  
“Done.” He said proudly, as I stood up, coming over to the mirror.  
  
“That's beautiful.” I said, looking at myself. On the both sides of my head were two braids that went down to my neck, and all of the remaining hair was put into a bun. “Thank you, Zayn.” I said, as he approached me from bihind, looking at the result of his work.  
  
“We should get going, or you'll be late at your plane.” He said, putting his hoodie on.  
  
“Yeah...” I agreed.   
  
I know that I should be mad at him for leaving me and all, but I just can't. I never was mad and never will be. I fucking missed him, and I don't want to let him go again.  
  
“Zayn?” I called him then he was about to leave my room.  
  
“Yeah?” He turned his face to me.  
  
“Will we...” I started, feeling bad for what I was about to say. I was pushing him away a few hours ago, and now I want him to stay. How could that change so fast? “Will I see you again?” I finally asked.  
  
“Yes. If you want.” He smiled at me slightly. “Have a safe flight.” He said and left, closing the door behind him.  
  
*  
  
I got to the airport pretty quickly, and everyone else was already there. Louis was the first one who I saw, instantly feeling guilty. He doesn't know, right? Of course not. And if I won't say anything, he'll never know about it. I just need to pretend that I was sleeping all night, instead of.... You know.  
  
“Hi, Hazza.” He wrapped his arms around my neck as soon as I approached him.  
  
“Hi, Lou.”  
  
“How was your evening? I'm sorry for leaving you alone. Plus that bar was kinda boring.”He said, leading me to the sofa where Liam and Niall were.   
  
“It was fine. I went back to the hotel and fell asleep.” I said simply and he nodded, “Okay.”  
  
*  
  
As soon as our plane took off, Louis immediately fell asleep, but I was not up to it.   
  
I was sitting in a chair, staring out the window and replaying all the things that happened in the last 24 hours in my head.   
  
I can't believe I met Zayn again. But even more, I can't believe that I actually had sex with him after not seeing him for so long. I feel guilty, dirty even. But at the same time I feel like I acquired something new in my life. Or found something that seemed lost a long ago...   
  
“Why you're not sleeping?" Louis's sleepy voice pulled me out of my thoughts.   
  
“I've had enough sleep.”I said, not meeting his gaze.  
  
“I've got a football game tonight. Will you go?" He asked.   
  
"Yes. Of course I'll come." I nodded, smiling slightly when he put his head on my shoulder.   
  
"You're the best." He whispered before going back to sleep.   
  
No, Lou. I'm fucking not.  
  
*  
  
Almost at the end of the flight I managed to get some sleep. Louis woke me up.   
  
“Wake up, boo. The plane is going down.”He gently shook my shoulder.   
  
I rubbed my eyes, trying to stretch, but it was quite difficult.   
  
"Did you sleep well?" Louis asked.   
  
“Yeah.”I nodded.  
  
He put his hand over mine, intertwining our fingers. His skin was warm and smooth.  
  
“Do you wanna talk? I feel like something bothers you.” He asked in a concerned tone.  
  
“I'm fine, Lou, don't worry.” He's so kind and caring, I don't deserve that, I fucking don't.  
  
“Okay...” He sighed, squeezing my hand tightly.  
  
*  
  
After arriving home, we had a couple of hours before the game. While Louis was walking around our apartment looking for his football uniform, I lay down on the sofa and turned on the TV.   
  
My stomach had some sort of a strange pain that I've never experienced before. This is probably because of the hunger, I've not really eaten today.   
  
“You can stay at home if you feel sick.” Louis kneeled down on the floor in front of the coach, looking at me in worry.  
  
“I'm okay, it happens to me sometimes.” I said. I didn't wanna stay at home, alone with my thoughts. Maybe this game could help me switch.  
  
“Okay, I won't argue with you.” He stood up, heading to the bedroom to grab his bag.  
  
I got up as well, turning off the TV and heading to the exit.   
  
*  
  
Due to the fact that Louis was one of the best players in the team, my seat was in one of the first rows. The game started quite rapidly, goals were scored one after the other, but I couldn't just sit quietly and enjoy the game.   
  
My stomach was just twisted out, and every minute was a torture. A few seconds before the end of the game, I felt something rising up my throat. I abruptly stood up, apologizing and trying to get out of the crowd of fans as soon as possible.   
  
Hardly reaching the men's restroom, I started vomiting.   
  
Flows of vomiting didn't stop for a long time, my eyes started watering and turned red, and my whole body was shaking, when I heard that someone entered the room.   
  
The door of the stall opened and I saw Louis. He knelt on the floor in front of me, cupping my face in his hands and looking me in the eyes.   
  
“Hey... You okay? What happened?” He asked quietly. I was so grateful that we were alone here. It would be embarrassing if someone saw it.  
  
“Yeah... Just ate something wrong.” I mumbled, my throat felt dry and scratchy.  
  
“You need to drink something, come on.” He took my hands in his, helping me to get up.




 


	4. Chapter 4

*  
  
Chapter 4.  
  
*  
  
Waking up the next morning, I felt not much better, I had a horrible headache. Louis wasn't at home already, he went somewhere on his business. It's probably for the best, I want to spend some time alone anyway.  
  
  
After breakfast, I threw up again. Feeling sick, I couldn't bring myself to do anything. So I laid down on the bed, taking the phone and dialing Niall's number.  
  
  
“Hello?”  
  
  
“Hi, Niall.” I said lazily. I don't even know why I decided to call him, or what exactly I was going to say, I just wanted to talk to someone. Niall was my friend at the end of the day, right?  
  
  
“Hazza! Did something happen? Your voice sounds... weird.”  
  
  
“No, it's all good. I just wanted to talk.” I said.  
  
  
“Okay, what about?”   
  
  
“I dunno.”  
  
  
“Em.... Okay. Where's Louis? I thought he should be with you.”  
  
  
“He's not at home right now.”  
  
  
“You sure everything is fine? I mean, why are you calling me instead of him? He's your boyfriend.”  
  
  
“I can't talk about that with him.”  
  
  
“Let's meet somewhere so you can tell me what happened, okay?”He offered.  
  
  
“Yeah, okay.”   
  
  
He named the place and gave me the address. We agreed on a meeting in half an hour, so I had to get out of the house right now.   
  
  
*  
  
  
After 20 minutes I arrived on the place. It was some cafe designed in old-fashioned way. Once I was inside, I saw Niall sitting at one of the tables near the window. I walked over to him, sitting down on the free chair.   
  
  
“Hi, Niall.” I said, smiling. Even though we're in the same group and stuff like that, we don't talk much, if we do at all. I was always busy with Louis, so I didn't have a real chance to get close with Niall, or Liam.  
  
  
“Hi, Haz. Do you wanna something to eat?”He handed me a menu, but I shook my head no.  
  
  
“I threw up a lot lately, so it's not a good idea, if only you want to spend the rest of the day with me in the toilet.”I said and Niall's face instantly changed from neutral to concerned.   
  
  
"Do you know why?" He asked, looking at me as if I'm gonna die in a few hours. Niall's always extremely worried about everything.  
  
  
“No idea.” I leaned back on the chair, crossing my arms on my chest.

  
“Maybe you should go to the doctor or something?”  
  
  
“I dunno.” I sighed. “Niall? Can I ask you something?”I leaned in closer to him, putting my elbows on the table.   
  
  
“Of course, I guess.”He was definitely confused with my way of behaving. So mysterious as some sort of vampire and stuff like that.   
  
  
“Have you ever cheated on someone?” I asked.  
  
  
“Em...No. I've never been in a real relationship actually. Why?” He looked at me as I lowered my gaze. “Wait... You did?” He asked in a half whisper.  
  
  
I sighed, nodding. Saying it out loud seems even more horrible than just thinking about it. Like, if you say it yourself, you offically a cheater.  
  
  
“So you cheated on Louis?”He suggested and I nodded.  
  
  
“I didn't want this to happen, but it just did, I guess?..” I tried to explain, seeing a disappointed look on his face. Great excuse, Harry. Every cheater says that same thing, I thought to myself.  
  
  
“But why? I thought you love him. Because he loves you and....”  
  
  
“I do, but... I dunno anymore.”His words hit me in the head. Louis loves me, he tells about it to other people, and what do I do? “I didn't want this, it just happened so fast, and I'm so sorry, I wish I could change that, but I can't... And now I'm having a terrible headaches and I was puking all the time and I.... I think I'm pregnant." I made my most terrible suggestion out loud.   
  
  
It came to me tonight at night. I was thinking about what I did with Zayn and I came to the realization that we didn't use protection. So, I guess it all makes sense now.  
  
  
Niall just stared at me with his eyes wide open. Neither of us knew what to say, and I couldn't shake off the feeling that I've made a terrible mistake.   
  
  
“Are you sure..?”Niall finally spoke.  
  
  
“No, but most likely, yeah.”I lowered my eyes, playing with the rings on my fingers. “It may sound stupid, but I kinda... feel it. ”I couldn't help but smiling slightly at the thought. “Sounds crazy, I know.”  
  
  
“No, but, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna tell him?”  
  
  
“I have to, sooner or later.”  
  
  
“Is there any chance that it's Louis's baby?”  
  
  
“No, I don't think so.”  
  
  
“Okay...” Niall sighed. I've loaded him with information a little bit too much. But I felt better after I told him about it.   
  
  
“Thanks for listening, Niall, really, I appreciate it.”I said, standing up. “I think I need to go now, Louis should be back soon.”  
  
  
Niall stood up, hugging me goodbye.  
  
  
“Be safe, and.... Goodluck.” He said.  
  
  
“Thank you.”   
  
  
*  
  
  
On my way home I stopped at the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test.   
  
Louis still wasn't home, thank God. So I quickly headed to the bathroom, taking the test out from its package.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
I wasn't wrong after all. I really am pregnant.  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
After staying in the shower for as long as I could, I quietly turned off the water, climbing out. I was hoping that Louis was already asleep, because I literally couldn't look him in the eyes.  
  
I put on my pajamas, opening the door and heading to the bedroom.  
  
  
Louis was lying on his side, with his back turned to me. I tip toed to the bed, quietly getting under the covers.  
  
After a second I felt Louis's arms wrapping around me. He snuggled so close, pressing his nose into the back of my neck. I exhaled, feeling how warm his body was.  
  
  
“You okay?” He whispered.  
  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
  
“Maybe we should go to the doctor? I know you were puking again.”   
  
  
“No, I'm fine.”  
  
  
“You keep saying that, but I see that it isn't true.”He sighed in frustration, removing his hands from me, but I stopped him, putting my hand on top of his.   
  
  
“Stay like this. Please.” I whispered and he pulled me closer.  
  
  
“Okay, I won't move.”He kissed the back of my neck.   
  
  
  
  
                Soon I started drifting away.

 


	5. Chapter 5

*  
  
Chapter 5.  
  
*  
  
My hand clutched the phone while I stared at the screen, deciding what to do. Most likely Zayn changed his phone number, but it was the only chance to communicate with him, as he didn't leave me any information.   
  
  
I looked down at my stomach. I didn't want to have anything to do with Zayn, I even thought I'd never see him again, but now I'm carrying his child...   
  
  
  
I took a deep breath in, pressing the call button. On the other end was heard long beeps. The longer they lasted, the faster my heart was beating, until a familiar voice finally said, “Hello?”  
  
  
“Zayn.” I whispered.  
  
  
“Harry? Is that you?”  
  
  
“Yes.”I said, literally FEELING him smiling on the other end. “I wanted... to see you.” I managed to say.  
  
  
“I wanted that, too.” He said. His voice is quiet and deep. “I'm in the L.A. Right now, so I guess we can?”  
  
  
“How do you know where I am?”I asked, trying to remember if I told him where I live. I thought he lives in London? He said so himself not that long ago.  
  
  
“I have my ways.” He whispered mysteriously. His voice literally gives me chills right now. “Want me to pick you up?”  
  
  
“No. there's no need. Tell me your address.”  
  
  
Zayn told me the address of his house and I said I'd be there in 15 minutes, his apartment building was very close.   
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
I couldn't help but feeling anxious on my way there.  
  
My hands were sweating a little, and the car wheel tried to slip away from my grasp all the time. I thought about how I'm going to tell Zayn the main news of the day. Whether it was a good idea? I don't know. Maybe I should just keep it as a secret and raise the child alone. I can't leave him. Maybe it happened by mistake, and was very imprudent and foolish, I will not leave my child. He's mine. He is growing inside of me. With Zayn's help or not, I'll raise him.  
  
  
The idea that a CHILD will be given to my arms slightly terrified me, a living person, whose life and future will be depended on me, the only thought of it makes my heart race. I'm only 22, and I'll have to ensure both of us.   
It's gonna be hell...   
  
  
  
Immersed deep in my thoughts, I reached the place. I parked the car on the pavement near the entrance to the building, getting out and slamming the door behind me.   
  
I raised my head up, the building was just incredibly high. Its whole appearance was covered in mirrors, in the reflection of which shone the city in the sunlight. This is one of the most expensive buildings in the city, buy a flat here costs a lot of money. I wonder where Zayn got them? His family never had too much savings, I'm not talking about the wealth of THIS magnitude.   
  
  
I entered the building, immediately heading to the elevator. On the inside this building looked ornate and tasteful. Everything was painted in dark colors, like millions different shades of chocolate, covered with dark velvet.   
  
The elevator came quickly, a pleasant, unobtrusive music played in its cabin, it could've hold, like, 20 people in it at the same time, or even more. This thing quickly brought me to the desired floor, which only had two apartments. I went to the door designed in a black color, suggesting that Zayn wouldn't chose himself a bright red one. Although, who knows? I certainly didn't.   
  
  
  
I walked over and knocked softly. Nothing could be heard behind this door, probably because it's almost steel, and has a good sound isolation.  
  
  
I waited a few seconds until I finally heard quiet sounds similar to the movement of the door latch. My heart skipped a beat and I began to run all the possible thoughts about how things could go. Zayn could've just tell me to fuck off, right? Yeah, that's probably what will happen. I'm nobody to him, not even a friend, why would he want to have anything to do with me? He's already left once.  
  
  
  
When I was about to leave the whole idea in the past, the door opened. Zayn stood on the threshold, he wasn't wearing anything but baggy sweatpants. I tried not to stare at him so I looked him in the eyes, which wasn't that good of an escape either.   
  
  
He smiled softly at me, slightly tilting his head to the side.  
  
  
“Hi.” He said.  
  
  
“Hi.” I lowered my eyes down, looking at my shoes. Why is it so hard for me to control myself in his presence? Or is it something special dispelled in the air here?   
  
  
"Come on in." He stepped back, giving me some space to enter inside.   
  
  
  
His apartment looked amazing, I'm not even kidding. Something like the Studio, there were almost no rooms, except from the bathroom, everything was just one big area, divided into zones using furniture and decor .   
  
The walls were covered in bricks, whose color varied in each zone.   
  
Carpets were laying on the floors, which seemed very soft, you could've sleep on them.   
  
But the most beautiful thing here was the windows. They were about the size of a human height or even bigger, and had a view of the entire Los Angeles showing off.  
  
  
“This place looks nice.” I said, looking around while Zayn closed the door.  
  
  
“With you here, it looks even better. Want something to eat?”He quickly slipped pass me to the kitchen.   
  
  
“Em... Yeah, it would be nice.”I said, trying to ignore the way my heart fluttered at his words.  
  
  
“What would you like? I can cook anything." He asked, rummaging through the fridge. I quietly walked over to the bar stool, sitting on it and watching Zayn. I can't stop looking at him, his body, it looks very attractive, even more than ever before.  
  
  
“On your taste.”I said, biting my lip slightly. He hummed, pulling out of the fridge eggs and a few apples and placing them on the kitchen cupboard in front of me.  
  
  
He deftly pulled a knife from the drawer, starting to cut the apples in cubes.   
  
  
"You don't mind scrambled eggs with apples?" He asked, raising his eyes at me.   
  
  
"No...," I licked my lips, looking at his chest. His muscles jumped up and down as he moved his hand. He noticed me staring and chuckled.  


  
“Why did you want to see me?” He suddenly asked. Well, you know, to tell you that I'm pregnant?  


  
“I wanted to talk.”I managed to say.  


  
“Okay, about what?” He raised his eyebrow, breaking the eggs.  


  
“Well, I-” I started, but the phone rang and cut me off.  


  
“Sorry, I'll be right back.”Zayn put the egg he was holding on the table, quickly leaving in the direction of the ringing phone. I sighed with a relief. I have a little more time.   


  
I carefully stood up, walking around the cupboard and taking the eggs. I cracked them into a bowl, getting milk from the fridge and pouring it to the eggs. With a little searching through the drawers, I found a fork and began to whisk the resulting mass.   


 

  
I didn't hear Zayn coming, so when he wrapped his arms around my body, I flinched.   


  
“You scared me...” I whispered as he placed his chin gently on my shoulder.  


  
“Sorry.” He whispered back, putting his hand over mine, starting to stir what was in the bowl, using two our hands. I was in a shirt, but even through it, I could feel the warmth of his body.   


  
I have so many questions for him, but it's never the right time to ask. I have a feeling that talking to him now is something supernatural. It's suddenly became very hard for me, I can't find the right words and why am I worried so much when he's around?   


  
“Why did you left me?” I quietly asked, hoping that he wouldn't hear me at all.  


  
“I had... trouble.” He sighed, his grip on me slightly tightened.  


  
“What do you mean?”I asked, turning my head a little to see his face on my shoulder.  


  
“It's nothing important. You don't need to worry.”He said, letting me go and pulling out the pan from the hinged cabinet.   


  
“No, it's important to ME. You left without a word, and you're saying it's not important? I didn't know what to think, Zayn.” I said, quiet upset. Why is he acting like it's not a big deal? Because, for me, it is.  


  
“Because it was a stupid mistake, okay?” He moved around the kitchen, ignoring the fact that I was standing there, completely not looking at me.  


  
“What did you do?” I wasn't going to give up just yet. Let him yell and get mad at me, but I'll know the reason for his leaving. I've been waiting for this for too long. “Zayn. What did you do?” I asked again, after not receiving any answer at my first question.  


  
“I got involved with a drugs." He quietly said, pouring the eggs mixed with the milk onto the pan.   


  
“What?” I asked, though I've heard him clearly. I was afraid of that. Once we had an unpleasant story with drugs, but Zayn was able to easily get out of this and not get in serious trouble. Looks like he wasn't so lucky this time.   


  
"I got involved with a drugs, but it's a long story, I don't want to think about it anymore. The point is that I had to leave then without telling you, to not to put you in danger. Even Perrie didn't knew a thing about that. I went through a lot of litigations and even had to spend some time in jail because some jerk reported on me and a few other guys to the police. " He explained, remaining perfectly calm.   


  
“But...Why would you do that?”I confusedly asked. “You already got in trouble once because of that. Why would you want to do that again?”  


  
“I needed money. For good education for my sister. It was very expensive, and we couldn't afford it."   


  
“Zayn... It's... You always could've ask me, or you could take a credit, anything."   


  
"I didn't want my family in debt."   


  
"And your family didn't want you in prison." I said, and he sighed.  


  
“Whatever. It's in the past now. I was able to get out of this and even find work. So it doesn't matter anymore.” He shrugged his shoulders. I looked at him, trying to find the reason for what he did. Why did he decide to get out of the situation that way? Drugs never lead to anything good.   


  
“You're not doing it anymore, right?”I asked after a while.  


  
“No, I'm a painter now, actually.” He said, slightly smiling. “The breakfast is ready.” He took the pan from the stove, laying out a portions of scrambled eggs on the plates. “Go sit at the table.”He nodded towards the kitchen table, pulling forks out from the drawer.   


  
I did as he told me, and soon he followed me, placing one of the plates in front of me, and the other on the empty space to my right. He quietly sat down, and started eating, never letting me out of his sight. He seemed to scan me, it made me a little nervous.   


  
“Why are you looking at me?” I asked, slowly chewing. He chuckled.  


  
“You're beautiful.” He said, almost causing me to choke. I also couldn't ignore the fact that my cheeks started to heat up, and I didn't know how to react. It's so weird. Three years ago I kissed him and he immediately ran away from me. And now he says I'm beautiful? Not considering the fact that we had sex. Twice.   


  
“Ahm... Thank you.”I mumbled, looking down at my plate.  


  
“Don't be shy.” Suddenly, he reached his hand out to me, taking me by ching and caressing my cheek with his thumb. I widened my eyes, looking at him, then at his plate.   


  
"I'll wash the dishes." I jumped up, taking our plates and heading into the kitchen. He quietly followed me.  


  
I walked over to the sink, turning on the water and quietly starting to wash the plates, ignoring Zayn, who now stood closely to me, watching my every move.   


 

  
As soon as I turned off the water, he abruptly moved closer, suddenly but gently biting my ear. Goosebumps ran all over my body, and my breath slightly trembled. I closed my eyes for a second, slowly stepping to the side.   


  
“Zayn...” I whispered. Without letting me talk a lot, he picked me up and sat on the kitchen counter, stepping in between my legs.   


  
He cupped my face in his hands, pulling me closer to him, slowly connecting our lips. My breath hitched as he took my lower lip between his teeth, slightly pulling it back. I wrapped my legs around his waist, holding him in place.   


 

  
Suddenly, he stops, releasing my lip and looking me in the eyes instead, smiling.  


 

  
I look at him, confused, waiting for what he's gonna do. He leans down to my ear and softly whispers, "I have a fiancee." 

 


	6. Chapter 6

*

Chapter 6.

*

"What...?" I barely spoke,looking him in the eyes. I felt how my heart accelerated, my mouth fell open. 

“I have a fiancee. And we're getting married in a three weeks." He calmly repeated, and I felt like breaking his jaw. I felt rage, despair, sadness, all these emotions vividly reflected in my eyes, while his remained totally indifferent. 

“Let me go.” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. He did not move. "Let me go!" I hit him in the chest. 

"I don't want you to do anything stupid." He said seriously, continuing to stubbornly stand still. It began to annoy me. What am I? A fucking emo? What 'stupid' I can do in his opinion?

“I said let me go! What do you think? I'm not a fucking toy for you to play! Why did you come back?! Why did you make me remember about you?..." My voice broke, I started to sob. It's probably hormones. In a normal condition I wouldn't cry, would I? “I cheated on my boyfriend because of you! You fucking destroying my life! Why couldn't you just leave forever?!” I pushed him as strong as I could and he finally let me go. Not because I'm pushing hard, but probably because he just got sick of me crying and fighting against him already. 

I jumped down on the floor, heading towards the door. He followed me.

“Open the door.” I told him, realizing that I won't be able to get out of here by myself. Goddamn locks.

“No, you'll listen to me first.” He stood in front of me.

“I won't listen to you.” I crossed my arms on my chest.

“I think you will.” He grabbed my wrists, placing them above my head. Why is he so fucking strong? I can't even fight against him.

“Zayn, I!-”I raised my voice and a sharp pain shot through my head, as if someone stuck an arrow in my temple. “I...”

“Harry?”Zayn grabbed me under my armpits, keeping me standing on my feet. Everything turned blurry, my knees felt so weak, I started blacking out. “Harry, what the-”

 

 

***

 

Opening my eyes, I found myself on the bed. My brain was cracking apart, but I felt warm. I had a blanket on, and Zayn's hand was laying peacefully on my stomach, his hot breathing on my neck.

I carefully turned around, hoping that he's asleep, but he wasn't. Instead, he was just looking at me, this time he had a shirt on. I sighed, closing my eyes again and nuzzling into his neck. No, I didn't hit my head and no, I haven't forgotten what happened. Just... now it seemed the most right thing to do. 

“Hi.” He whispered, wrapping his both arms around my body.

I just kept laying still. 

“Hey, you okay?” He asked. I nuzzled deeper into his skin, if that was even possible, nodding my head slightly.

“Don't talk.” I told him and he hummed, “m'kay.”

He started slowly brushing my hair with his fingers, leaving a kiss on the top of my head. I've never felt so peaceful before. I knew that I should leave soon, and I won't see him again since he will be married, so... Why not enjoy the moment? 

“You mad at me?” Zayn asked when I was almost asleep again. 

“Zayn... I'm sleeping.”I mumbled sleepy. 

“I want to know.” He insisted.

“No.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Now shut up and let me sleep.” I said and he laughed, kissing my forehead. 

“Whatever you say, babe.”

***

After a few hours of sleep in Zayn's house, he offered me a drive back to my apartment on his car, refering to the fact that I can feel bad again and someone needs to be with me. And this someone is him. 

“Why do you live here? It seemed to me that you are the stars of the world scale and you have a lot of money." He asked, looking out the car window at the building in which my and Louis's apartment was. 

“Louis sends most of his money to his family. I'm quite happy with this place.” I folded my arms on my chest, looking at the people passing by the car. I wonder if Louis is at home already. He didn't call me even once. Leaving the house without telling him a word, it's a slippery slope.

“You sure you're okay?” Zayn asked before I got out of the car.

“Even if I'm not, there's nothing you can do about it.”I said, opening the door and getting out. "Enjoy the wedding. I wish you happiness." I slammed the door without waiting for a reply. 

I felt a lump rasing up my throat and my vision becomes blurry. I prayed for Louis to be not at home, I wouldn't be able to handle myself in front of him. I need to let it out.

*

“Louis? You here?” I asked, entering our flat. There was no answer, the apartment was empty and quiet.

I threw a bunch of keys on the table, taking off my shoes. 

After that, I went straight into the bedroom, falling onto the bed. I felt like shit. Head started to hurt again, and I had a feeling that I'm gonna vomit soon. 

I closed my eyes, and tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. I pulled the pillow closer to me, squeezing it between my fingers. I didn't tell Zayn about the baby. He doesn't need it, he's getting married and he's gonna have children with his wife. 

Sobbing quietly, I soon sank into a slumber. 

*

“Baby, wake up...Hey, what's wrong? Were you crying?”I heard Louis's concerned voice through my sleep. I turned to the side, seeing his face a few inches above me.

“Louis?” I smiled sleepy. “Hi.” 

“Hi.” He smiled at me, leaving a kiss on my forehead. “Your eyes are red. Did something happen?” He laid down on the bed next to me.

“Nothing, I was just sleeping.” I said innocently.

“Okay.” He ran his fingers through my hair, smiling. “I'll take a shower and be right back, okay?" 

"Okay." I nodded and he kissed my nose, getting out of bed. 

I watched as he walked into the bathroom, biting my lip. I understand that I won't be able to hide it forever. At first my stomach won't be visible, but then it appear and... 

“Shit...” I sighed, running fingers through my hair. 

*

After 10 minutes Louis came out of the shower, all wet and hot. He climbed under the covers with me, wrapping his arms around my body.

“Ew.... You're wet.” I whined, playfully pushing him away.

"Don't be so touchy, Hazza.”He pulled me closer to him, nuzzling his nose into my hair. “You smell amazing.”He inhaled my scent. “Is that a coconut?” He chuckled.

“I dunno?” I shrugged, laying my head on his chest. 

“You want to sleep, boo? Already?”He pouted his lower lip.

“Yeah, I'm tired...”

“You were sleeping the whole day, honey.”Louis caressed my back gently.

“Still want.”

"Are you feeling okay? Maybe you're just not eating enough?" Well, that could be it. I eat too little even for myself alone, and now I have to eat two times more. What can I do? I always forget about it.

“No, I ate quiet a lot today.” I said, trying to avoid any following questions. I know he's just worried. That's why lying to him even more makes me sick.

“Okay, if you say so.”He sighed and we went quiet for a while. My eyelids grew heavy, I slowly began to fall asleep. 

 

“Harry?” Suddenly, Louis spoke again. His voice was a bit hoarse, perhaps it's a side effect of the cigarettes that he smokes. 

“Mhm?”I mumbled, feeling too sleepy to speak. 

“Are you pregnant?”

 

 

***

 

 

“Louis, I-”I sat down on the bed, watching Louis, who was now pacing around the room. He found my test in the bathroom, that's how he knew.

“I don't get it... How?” He looked at me. He wasn't angry, more frustrated and confused. It was hard to piss him off, to make him yell or even raise his voice at me.

“I-”I couldn't utter a word, my heart was pounding in my chest, and hands started to shake and sweat. 

“We used the protection, right? Every time. How is that possible?”He ran his fingers through his hair.

“Louis, it's-... it's not that.” I sighed, lowering my eyes at my lap.

“What?” He stopped moving, looking directly at me, burning through me with his eyes.

I took I deep breath in before speaking again, “It's not yours...” I whispered ever so quietly, feeling tears welling up in my eyes.

“What did you say?”Louis was whispering too. He quietly sat down on the bed, crawling closer to me. I tried to cover my eyes with my hands but he stopped me, holding my wrists. “Harry. What did you just say?” His voice was slightly shaking, even though he tried to keep it steady. I know that I'm hurting him right now, and the further I go, the deeper it's gonna cut, but I can't lie to him anymore. It just doesn't make sense.

“I said that it's not yours... I... I cheated on you.”I said, tightly shutting my eyes, as if expecting a kick on the head. I did a terrible thing. It wasn't worth it. Zayn wasn't worth it. Louis shouldn't be hurt because of what I did. 

I felt his grip on my wrists slowly eased, as his hands fell deadly on his knees. 

“I'm so sorry...” I sobbed quietly.

“Why?... I... WHY, Harry?” I can't even tell how he sounded right now. I've never heard his voice like that before, like it wasn't him, but someone completely different. I still didn't dare to raise my eyes to look him in the face. 

“I'm sorry.” Was all I could say. I was repeating it over and over again, because I really was sorry. I knew there was no point in saying that I didn't want that and that it was an accident. Because, after all, it wasn't. I let Zayn do it, so it's my fault too.

“Did I do something wrong? I was never bad to you, I... I love you.”He was still sitting in front of me when I finally looked at him. He seemed so miserable, so upset, his eyes looked at me, but they were some sort of... Empty. 

“Louis...” I reached out to him, but he quickly backed away, standing up.

“I need to think this through. I... I think it's better if I leave now.” He said, taking his clothes from the back of the chair, and quickly putting it on. I carefully watched him until he left the apartment, quietly closing the door behind him. 

***


	7. Chapter 7

  
Chapter 7.

  
*

  
The rest of the night I didn't sleep. I tossed and turned in bed, trying to get lost into a slumber for a while, but it didn't work. I haven't slept in this bed alone since.... Never. Louis never leaves me here alone. Well, now he had a reason, I fucking cheated on him.

  
Don't know if he will ever forgive me. Knowing how wonderful and kind he is, he probably will give me a second chance, but I can't. I don't think I can give myself a second chance and continue to live with him like nothing happened. That's just not how it works for me.

  
*

  
Barely waiting for the morning, I got up and went to the bathroom.

  
The first thing I saw was my reflection in the mirror. Huge grey bags were visible under my eyes, lips looked dried and started to crack slightly, and my hair was just a mess.

  
I definitely should start to take care of myself better. Or, at least, comb my hair sometimes.

  
After brushing my teeth, and barely untangling my long hair, I got dressed started to pack.

  
I don't want to stay here alone, and I also can't spend my whole pregnancy without any help, even though it seems so easy now.

  
I decided to go back home, in Redditch, where my family is.

  
My mom always used to help me and support me no matter what. I'm sure she'll know what to do now.

  
I packed the most necessary stuff in my God-knows-how old backpack and examined the apartment once more, before heading to the exit, pulling my phone out of my pocket.

  
I closed the door, searching through the contacts for one, signed"Mom."

  
“Hi, mom.” She picked up almost immediately.

  
“Hi, Harry! How are you doing, son?” She asked, happy to hear my voice. I miss my mom. My whole family. Since I became a part of One Direction, I haven't had much time to travel home. Every time we'd return from the tour, there were new worries.

  
“I'm fine, mom. I'm on my way to the airport for the flight home." I said, smiling. The thought of going home warmed up my heart.

  
“That's great! But why? Did something happen?”

  
“No, it's alright mom. I'll tell you everything as soon as I get there, okay?”I spoke in a calm, soothing tone. I've had enough tears for tonight already.

  
“Okay, Harry. Do you want Robin to meet you on his car?”

  
“No need.” I said, waving my hand for the taxi to stop and pick me up. “Okay, bye mom, I'll see you soon.”

  
“Bye, honey.” She said and hang up, as I climbed into the car, telling the driver where I need to go.

  
*

  
Once I was at the airport, I bought a ticket for a plane to my city, and went to take a seat in the waiting room.There were a lot of people besides me. Someone slept, someone played games on the phone.

  
And what about me, I just sat down on the free chair, looking around. My heart felt somehow empty, but so calm. That was my fault. I've ruined everything myself. I shouldn't have give in and cheat on Louis, but I can't go back in time and change things, so now all I can do is deal with the consequences.

  
I pulled my backpack on my lap, rummaging through it in search of nothing.

  
I found a lot of old junk, surprisingly. For example, my old diary. Yes, I used to write in a diary.

  
I flipped through a few pages, reading what was written there. Almost every word made me smile. I had this diary since I was thirteen, and the last note was made on my eighteenth birthday.

  
I chuckled at how much there were written about Zayn. His name was in every paragraph. No wonder, I was a kid, and he was my best friend. My whole life has consisted of fooling around with him.

  
_**~January 12, 2008.** _

  
_**Today is Zane's birthday and it's snowing. He turns 15, and he's still a year older than me.** _

  
_**His mom offered us to organize some sort of party, invite our friends and celebrate together. But Zane refused to do that, saying that he wanted to celebrate his Birthday only with me and his family. This is great news, and I'm not going to dissuade him from this decision. :)** _

  
_**I like hanging out with him all the time, and today, I might be allowed to stay at sleepover.** _

  
_**I still don't know what to get him. Zayn says that he doesn't need anything, just for me to come. Of course I'll come, he's my best friend, I will never leave him.** _

_**~** _

  
I read one of the writings, feeling a rush of memories.

  
I remember that day very well. We've played in the snow for hours, and then Trisha called us to drink hot chocolate and open gifts.

  
I gave Zayn a gift, it was a friendship bracelet. One was meant for him, and the second one I wore myself.

  
I looked at my wrist, checking if it's still there. It was so old and worn threads were sticking out of everywhere, but I never took it off anyway.

  
Now, he doesn't even call me. I don't know why I still expect something from him, it's obvious that I'll get nothing.This is just stupid...

 

  
I sighed, shoving a diary back into my backpack. I still have a hour before my plane, so I decided to take a nap, considering the fact that I couldn't do that properly at night.

  
***

  
I tried to get on a plane as quickly as possible, to take my seat and escape the crowd of other passengers.

  
All this time I had to move around with the hood on, hiding my face. Otherwise, someone could've recongnize me, and the extra attention is the least thing I wanted right now.

  
Finally seated, I was able to relax a little. I had 14 hours of flight, and during this time I could've get enough sleep. Or so I thought.

  
*

 

After three hours of caml and peace, I felt sick. I didn't know whether I was airsick or is it because of the pregnancy, but it didn't matter.

  
I stood up, quickly heading to the toilet. The only stall there was occupied. I whined quietly, knocking on the door.

  
“Em... Sir? Can you, please, let me in?” I asked nicely. There was no answer, I could only hear the sound of someone pissing.

  
Swearing to myself, I felt the vomit rises up my throat. I quickly rushed to the sink, puking in there. I had no other choice, I couldn't do it on the floor.

 

  
Suddenly, I felt someone's wet and cold hands take my hair, lifting it up. I could've care, if I wasn't so busy.

  
Once I was done and washed my mouth, I finally was able to see the guy.

  
He stood above me, still holding my hair in his hand, smiling at me. He looked handsome. Dressed in a black leather jacket and jeans, he kind of reminded me of Zayn. The only difference was the color of the hair, it was light brown.

  
“Hi.”He said, letting go of my hair. He had a pleasant bass voice, he was softly smiling at me like one of these cool guys from the movies.

  
“Hi.” I replied in a hoarse voice, feeling dryness in my throat.

  
“You okay? You didn't... look very good.” He put his hands in the pockets of his jeans, continuing to study me with his gaze.

  
“Not really, but I'll be fine. It happens.” I coughed, removing the scrunchie from my wrist, and collecting my hair in a messy bun.

  
“You want me to stay with you? You know, to take care of you?" He asked, causing me to raise my eyebrow at him. Is he serious? Why would he even care about me? I'm just a stranger.

  
He noticed my surprised face and smiled slightly, holding his hand out for me to shake, “My name is Matt.” He said.

  
“Harry.” I shook his hand.

  
“Don't be scared of me, I don't bite.” Matt chuckled. “I'm just alone here, so, why wouldn't keep each other company?” He asked me in a friendly tone. He didn't seem dangerous, though a bit odd, so I accepted his offer, nodding slowly. "Alright."

  
*

  
In Matt's company our flight passed by much faster. He was a nice guy after all, joked all the time, and was pretty smart and witty.

  
“So Harry, why are you going to Redditch?” He asked me once he finished his story about younger brother.

  
“My family lives there, I want to visit them.” I turned my head to the window, the city beneath us was already visible.

  
“And how about the love front? Do you have a girlfriend?” He leaned a little closer to me, as if to hear better.

  
“Boyfriend, but eh.... We're going through a hard time right now.” I said.

  
“What happened?”

  
“Well, I cheated on him.”

  
“Ouch.” He grimaced.

  
“Yeah.”I sighed, playing with my rings.

  
“So he left? Yelling and throwing stuff at you?”

  
“No, he's not that, actually. He said he needs to think this through.”

  
“Wow. Well, maybe this will end well for you both eventually?”

  
“Maybe.” I shrugged slightly.

 

*

  
When the plane landed, we grabbed our bags and Matt offered me a drive to my home, saying that he's a local and his car is parked somewhere nearby. I agreed, following his lead. I wonder why he's so nice to me. Although, maybe he's just that kind of person.

 

  
His car really was not that far. It was some old truck. He opened the door for me, so I could get in the car. What a gentleman. Then he quickly went around and sat in the driver's seat, immediately starting the engine.

  
*

  
Matt's car was a lot faster than I thought, and soon we arrived at the place.

  
My heart sank at the sight of the old, painfully familiar house. I remember how me and Gemma used to play here all day long, our mom couldn't make us go inside even when it was pitch dark already.

  
I thanked Matt for the ride, getting out of the car.

  
My mother went outside to meet me with open arms.

  
“Harry!” She exclaimed.

  
“Mom...” I approached her, pulling into a tight hug.

  
"Honey, I'm so happy to see you. Your hair got even longer since the last time I've seen you." She smiled, twirling my curls with her fingers.

  
"I'm glad too. Is Robin home?" I wrapped my arm around mom's shoulders, moving towards the house.

  
"No, he's at work. He was so happy when I told him about you coming to visit us. Gemma too, though she's still upset because of Liam. He's trying to get back at her."

  
"Well, he can go fuck himself then, cuz that won't happen." I said and she laughed, playfully poking me in the side.

  
*

  
Mom told me about our family life and about what happened while I was gone.

  
Having my stuff removed in the drawers in my old room, we went down to the kitchen, because I was just starving.

  
"So what happened? It must've been something serious, you decided to fly all the way here so suddenly." She asked, placing on the plate a piece of her freshly baked casserole.

  
"Well, I don't even know how to say it, mom. But I hope you'll take it normally. Just remember, I'm in a full control of the situation and you don't need to-" I started, but she stopped my stream of words.

  
"Harry. Son, whatever happened, I'll support you." She sat down on the chair next to me, placing her hand on top of mine.

  
"Okay..." I took a breath in. My mom was all the ears. She looked at me, squeezing my arm harder with every passing second and perhaps already prepared to hear that I killed someone and now I'm hiding from the police. "I'm pregnant." I exhaled, watching her reaction. She wasn't moving for a second, then she leaned in and hugged me.

  
"Son..." She whispered, holding me. "That's truly amazing... And Louis... Does he know already?" She pulled away slightly, looking me in the eyes and smiling.

  
"Yeah... But he's... Not the father." Mom's smile faded and I sighed deeply, putting a fork that I was holding down on the table, my appetite suddenly gone somewhere and I felt like puking again.

  
"Why?.. Did you two break up?" She asked, worried.

  
"No, we didn't. Yet."

  
"Who's the father then?" Mom asked carefully. I bit my lip, looking down.

  
"Zayn..."

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

*

Chapter 8.

*

"Wait," My mom shook her head slightly. "You mean Zayn? The one you used to be friends with?" She asked, raising her eyebrow.

I nodded carefully, feeling somehow uncomfortable about this fact.

"But how? I thought he left and..?"

"I thought so too, but he showed up a few days ago, and we, you know... It was stupid." I sighed. "I dunno what to do. I told Louis, because I couldn't lie to him anymore, and he left."

"Have you tried to talk to him again?"

"No, I haven't. Argh... I shouldn't do that." I said, berating myself.

Mom stayed silent, probably thinking about this whole thing. Not like she could change anything anyway.

"Wanna know what I think? You can't change the past, and I also think you two should talk. He left somewhere, and you came here, which isn't helping the situation at all. You need to sit down and discuss it with Louis, tell him everything as it is. You didn't want that, and you're sorry. If he really loves you, he gets it." She said after a while.

"Maybe you're right, mom."

"Of course I am. Now, eat. I want you and my grandchild to be healthy." She kissed my forehead, getting up and walking to the sink.

"Okay, ma'am." I chuckled, picking up my fork.

***

  After a lunch I decided to take a short nap on the coach in the living room, lately I often feel sleepy. 

 

 I was awakened by the sound of the main door opening and Robin's muted voice from somewhere in the distance. 

 

This entire day I felt like a child again, Robin always used to come home from work and buy me and Gemma all kinds of candies.

 

I stretched on the coach, feeling my back hurts slightly now because of my uncomfortable position and considering how small this piece of furniture is. 

 

I heard quiet footsteps nearby, it was Robin. He carefully leaned over the sofa, looking at me, probably thinking I was still asleep. I smiled at him, sleepily yawning.

"Hi, Robin," I said.

"Hi, sleepy head." He smiled at me so softly, I could literally see sparkles in his eyes. 

We were always close, I'm glad my mom met such a person.

"Welcome back home. Join us for dinner as soon as you feel fully awake." He said and left to the kitchen. 

 

I rubbed my eyes, sitting up and collecting my hair in a bun, because while I slept scrunchy flew off.

I slowly stood up, moving to the kitchen.

 

Robin was already sitting at the table, while mom was still fussing around the room.

"Do you need any help, mom?" I asked.

"No, Harry, thank you. Go sit down." She said, smiling. I nodded, taking a seat next to Robin. 

"How are you doing, Harry? I hope everything is fine? How's Louis?" Robin asked, patting my back gently. 

"I'm fine. Louis's too... I guess." I said. 

"Why? You had a fight?" He asked in a concerned tone. I always felt so touched that Robin truly cared about what was going on in my life. If I had problems at school, he was always ready to stick up for me, even if it wasn't really necessary.

"No, but I made a mistake." I sighed.

"Like what?"

"I cheated on him with Zayn." I said and suddenly, he started laughing, but it wasn't a mean type of laugh, more like 'I knew that's gonna happen' type.

I raised my eyebrow at him, as he stopped, touching his stubble with his hand. 

"I always liked that boy, Zayn. Knew he's gonna make a move on you eventually." He said, causing us both to laugh. 

"Robin!" Mom poked him slightly in the shoulder, holding back a laugh as well.

*

The evening was spent on a light note. We laughed and talked about everything. I felt so liberated, in the comfort and warmth of familiarity, surrounded by people with whom I could be myself.

Robin reacted to the news about my pregnancy very positively, once again pointing out what a nice guy Zayn is. 

*

  After taking a long hot shower, I went upstairs to my old bedroom.

Lying in bed, I couldn't fall asleep for a quiet long time. Perhaps it was the rain that began to drum on the glass, or maybe because of me napping a lot during the day.

I turned to my side, so I was facing the window. 

Almost full moon was shining through the glass, lighting the whole room up. It was September. It's still warm outside, and foliage isn't going to turn yellow just yet.

I smiled slightly, not really knowing why, placing my hands gently on my stomach. 

It feels weird and... new. Even if it's not visible, I know it's there...

I sighed, reaching for my phone. 

There was our photo on the main screen. Selfie of me and Louis, kissing me on the cheek. I slightly smiled at the memory. 

 

We never had fights, or any arguments, nothing. Everything was so perfect. 

But even then, I can't blame Zayn or be mad at him. Although, perhaps I should. He was engaged, and knowing this, he slept with me twice. Even if I don't know who the bride is, I can't help but feeling jealousy burning through my chest.

For a second I felt different, even if at first I denied it. Being with Zayn again seemed like a dream to me. I missed him so much. I missed the opportunity to just talk to him again. And when it finally felt real, he just vanished. He preferred someone else, I guess I just have to get over it now. Me over thinking it isn't gonna help anybody.

I stared at the phone screen until it automatically turned off. Rubbing my eyes, I yawned, putting my phone back on the nightstand. 

I closed my eyes, soon ceasing to care about the sound that rain drops were making.

 

***

 

I woke up to the loud chirping of the birds outside. 

I lazily got up and walked to the window, looking out into the street and stretching at the same time. After the rain there were pools and smell of dampness everywhere, the sun still couldn't break its way through the clouds. Autumn is slowly making itself felt.

I put my black bathrobe on before leaving the room and heading downstairs.

 

"Morning, mommy." I said childishly, wrapping my arms around my mom and pressing my cheek to her back, while she was frying eggs on the stove. 

"Morning to you too, Harry. Slept well?" She asked softly.

"Yep." I said, stealing one toast from the toaster. 

"Harry?" My mom turned her head to me, while I was chewing the toast. Her tone suddenly became serious.

"Yeah?" I asked with my mouth full. 

"Louis called." She said, and my heart slightly sank. I don't even know was it from happiness or fear of what might happen next.

"What did he say?" I asked after swallowing. 

"He asked if you're here and if I can call you to the phone." 

"And?"

"AND I couldn't because you were sleeping. That's what I told him. He said nothing else." She explained, turning off the stove and turning fully to face me.

"I think you should talk to him yourself." She said, wiping her hands off of the apron.

I bit my lip, looking down. I wonder what he wanted to tell me this early in the morning.

"How he sounded? I mean, his voice... What was it like?" I asked my mom, and she shrugged.

"Pretty normal." She said. "Harry, just call him." 

"Yeah. Okay." I sighed.

*

After breakfast, I went upstairs to my bedroom, immediately grabbing my phone.

I held it in my hands for a long time, staring at the contact signed 'Louis'. It was like deja vu, same thing happened a few days ago when I tried to call Zayn. 

I finally pressed the call button, waiting patiently. Louis picked up on the second beep. 

"Harry." He said quietly. 

"Hi, Louis." I pulled my legs up to my chest, resting my chin on my knees.

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly.

"I'm okay... And you?" I whispered, trying to keep conversation going no matter how awkward it's gonna be.

"Fine." He sighed. 

It became quiet for a second, all I could hear was his breathing, slow and steady.

"Louis," I started, "I'm sorry." 

"I know." His voice was so hoarse, he had to cough every now and then to keep it normal. I wonder why. 

I waited for him to talk, but it was helpless, he didn't make a sound.

"You want me to come back? I shouldn't have leave without telling you." I said.

"No. You need your mom's help, it'll be better if you stay there." He said, sounding now more alive, but just slightly. He sighed before speaking again, "Do you want ME to come?" 

"No, I mean, yes, but your work? Louis, you don't have to... Leave everything because of me." 

"I won't. But I understood you." He said, sounding upset. It felt like my every word was hurting him for some reason. "Take care of yourself there, okay?" He asked quietly, and I couldn't help but smiling. 

"Okay... " I sighed softly.

"Goodbye." 

"Bye..." I said and he hang up first. 

 I exhaled, still holding my phone in my hands. Suddenly I heard a knock on my door. I lifted my head, to see my mom standing in the doorway.

"How did it go?" She asked, sitting down on the bed next to me.

"He's upset. He didn't say so himself, but... I know he is." I said sadly.

"He has a right to it. When you two came to visit us, I remember how he looked at you. He loves you. Of course he's disappointed with your act." Mom spoke quietly, caressing my back. "I even thought you're going to marry." She chuckled softly.

 Noticing the sad look on my face, mom pulled me into a hug, brushing my hair with her fingers. "It's not over yet, Harry. I'm sure it'll be fine." She spoke in a smooth tone.

"He asked if he should come and I said no." 

"Why?"

"Because I don't want him to leave his work because of me." I explained.

"Maybe he'd come just for a few days?"

"You don't know him. He won't leave me here alone." I said and mom kissed my forehead.

"With Louis or without him, you always have me and Robin. We're your family, and always here to help you."

"Thank you, mom." I murmured, placing my head on her shoulder.

"Of course. Speaking of help, we need to visit gynecologist someday." She said, making me slightly uncomfortable. 

"I... Yeah. I'll go there myself." I said and she nodded, "okay."

 

 

***


	9. Chapter 9

*  
  
  
Chapter 9.  
  
  
*  
  
TWO MONTHS LATER  
  
"Mom! Mom!" I yelled from the bedroom.   
  
  
"What?" Mom ran into the room wide-eyed. "What happened, Harry?" She asked, looking at me in panic.  
  
  
"Can he kick already?" I asked, looking at my little round belly, standing in front of a mirror. My mom sighed, crossing her arms on her chest.  
  
  
"No, he's still too little." She said, smiling at me.  
  
  
"But I feel something!" I protested. My pregnancy caused me a storm of emotions. I felt new life living inside of me, and it's just magical. I also became a little paranoid over it. It's hard not to.   
  
  
"Harry, it's a little embryo! He can't kick!" Mom laughed, as I cutely pouted my lip.  
  
  
"What if it's a girl?" I turned to mom, putting my hand on my belly.  
  
  
"I don't know, honey. It's just two months old, you need to wait at least a few weeks more to find out." Mom said softly. "When was the last time Louis called you?" She asked.   
  
  
  
I sighed, letting go of the hem of my shirt, letting it fall freely.   
  
  
"Three days ago." I said sadly.   
  
  
"Is he gonna visit you at all?" Mom raised an eyebrow, she was unhappy with Louis lately. No one would be, he turned into a mess in a couple of months.   
  
That night when he left, he got drunk. He told me this story when we were talking on Skype.   
  
Before he hasn't had serious problems with alcohol, but now... I'm surprised he hasn't been fired yet. I wish I was there with him, but I'm here, and he's not going here any time soon.  
  
  
"But he promised you." Mom sighed, disappointed.  
  
  
"I know, but he's busy at work." I tried to justify him in front of my mom. Louis cares about me, he really does. He never called me in a drunken state, and he also sends me money on a regular sessions with a doctor.  
  
  
"And his alcohol problem has nothing to do with that?"   


  
"No. Mom, stop pushing on him! Please. He does his best, you know that." I said, growing frustrated at her misunderstanding.    


  
"I know, but-" she started, but my ringing phone cut her off. I walked past my mom to the living room to pick it up.   


  
"Hello?" I said, answering the call from unknown number.   


  
"Hi, Harry!" I heard cheerful voice greeting me on the other end. It was kind of familiar, but I couldn't understand who it was exactly.   


  
"Em... Sorry, but who is this?" I asked.   


  
"It's Matt. From the plane, remember?" Voice asked. I nodded as if he could see me.   


  
"Yeah, Matt, I remember." Yes, I remember him, but I don't remember giving him my phone number.    


  
"How about hang out together?”He offered. I started walking around the room, noticing my mom in the doorway. “Is that Louis?” She mouthed me soundlessly. I shook my head no and she disappeared in the kitchen.   


  
“Matt, I don't think that's a good idea. I don't drink alcohol, at all.” I said when he finished telling me about this new bar that just opened somewhere nearby.  


  
“Okay, how about park?” He asked, definitely not going to back down.   


  
“That's... Fine, I guess.” I said. I don't go out much lately, although I probably should.   


  
“Great! I'll pick you up in twenty minutes.” He said and hang up, leaving me there, staring at my phone.  


 

  
I sighed, heading to my bedroom to change into something better than old shirt and sweatpants.  


 

  
*  


 

  
“Where are you going?” Mom asked, leaning on the wall while I was tying up my boots.  


  
“Friend called me.” I said. “The guy I met on the plane, Matt.” I explained and mom nodded.   


  
“Okay, be careful there.” She said, kissing my cheek goodbye.  


  
“I will, mom.”  


  
*

  
  
Once I was outside ,  I felt a blast of cold air hit my skin. It's already November, soon the winter will come and it will be even colder. The foliage crumbled a long time ago, leaving only pleasant memories of warmth and greenery.    


  
Matt's truck was parked on the sidewalk right behind our fence.  I walked up to it, getting inside.    


  
Matt raised his head from his phone, looking at me.   


  
"Hi, Harry." He said, before again staring at the screen.   


  
“Hi.” I responded, looking out the window.  


  
It's been a minute or two with no moving, so I looked at Matt, asking pretty logical question, “Why aren't we moving anywhere?”  
  
“Are you in a rush?” He asked back, turning his face to me and smiling weirdly. Shivers ran down my spain, immediately I felt uncomfortable. Jesus Christ, what is wrong with him? Why he suddenly acts so creepy?  
  
I carefully reached for the car door handle, trying to quietly open it, and maybe escape, but it was locked.   


  
“Where are you going?” Matt asked, placing his hand on my thigh. I brushed it off quickly, trying to keep myself together, though I was already freaked out.  


  
“Matt, stop! What the fuck?” I asked loudly.  
  
He chuckled darkly, standing up from his seat and leaning towards me, trying to grab me by wrists while I tried to push him away with my legs.   


  
“Matt! Stop! I'm gonna scream!” I squirmed in his hands, trying to set myself free.  


  
He just laughed, reaching for my belt, but I kicked him in the stomach and he writhed in pain, whining quietly.   


  
I hit the glass, trying to break it, but it didn't work. Soon I felt his hand grabbing my leg again, as I started screaming. I felt so scared, still trying to fight against him, but it wasn't helping much. I just wanted to crawl into some hole and cry.  
  
  
  
Suddenly I heard the sound of breaking glass, and then I dared to open my eyes, I saw some guy grabbing Matt by his coat and pulling him roughly into the street.  
  
I got out after them through the now open door. My Savior was sitting on Matt, beating him up brutally. Before I could see who it was, Matt grabbed him by the collar of his jacket, pulling him on the ground with his face down. I watched their fight, not knowing what to do.   
  
Then I saw the guy's face.  
  


 

  
_**ZAYN.** _

 

  
  
Suddenly my mom ran out of the house, since we didn't really leave anywhere far, covering her mouth with her hands and running up to us.   


 

  
By the time she approached us, I tried to pull Zayn away from Matt, because guy didn't even seem so alive anymore.   


  
“Zayn, STOP!” I yelled, pulling him by the fabric of his jacket.   


  
He gave Matt another couple of beats before stopping, panting. I squatted next to him, looking at unconscious Matt. His face was just a bloody mess. Mom started to examine him, asking what happened, but I couldn't open my mouth to say anything, I just kept staring at Zayn. He looked detached and didn't move, still sitting on Matt's lap.  
  
“Why would you beat him up this much?...” I asked, worried about that now more than why Zayn was here at all.  


  
“He wanted to rape you!” He snapped, turning his face to look at me. I saw fury in his yes, madness. First time in my life I felt really scared of Zayn. It's like he wasn't himself.   


  
I quietly stood up, pulling Zayn up with me. He didn't get as much damage, but his cheek was still bleeding.   


  
I led him inside our house, while mom was waiting for the ambulance outside.  


  
Zayn silently climbed up on the kitchen stool, waiting, while I was searching for the kit.   


  
“What are you doing here?” I asked, placing the kit on the kitchen counter and sitting down on another stool, in front of Zayn.  


  
“I saved you.” He said quietly.   


  
“I know. That's not what I asked.” I sighed, p ouring on a piece of fleece a little bit of disinfectant.   


  
He just stayed silent this time, enduring me cleaning up his scratch.   


  
He watched my hand, sometimes switching his gaze on my face. I could feel his eyes scanning me, it was making me uncomfortable.  


  
“Can you stop staring at me?” I asked, annoyed.   


  
“No.” He said in a matter-of-fact tone.  


  
“Okay...” I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Maybe at least then you'll answer my question?”  


  
“I wanted to see you.” He said, and I laughed sarcastically.   


  
“Bullshit.” I said. “Why would you want to see me? You have a nice wife as far as I know, why don't you just go and see her instead? I'm pretty sure she's worried.” I said bitterly. I didn't even try to hide my anger, what's the point in that? I have to let him know at least once in a while how he makes me feel.  


  
“Harry,” He called before I could continue to spill my anger on him.   


  
“What? Don't Harry me. I don't understand, can't you make up your damn mind? You have a wife, and you cheated on her already. Now you want more? Zayn, I fucking-”  


  
“Harry!” He grabbed my wrist to get my attention. It helped, because I stopped talking, looking at him with my eyes widely open.  


  
“She's dead.” He said quietly and I felt my heart sank slightly.  


  
“W-what? What do you mean by... 'Dead'?” I stuttered. Zayn sighed, carefully letting of my wrists.  


  
“My wife is dead. She had a cancer.” He explained, not breaking an eye contact with me. I gulped, not knowing what to say. Maybe I even wasn't breathing, because holy shit. Now I feel like a real piece of crap for saying and thinking all that stuff about this woman. I never thought she had a cancer...  


  
“And you...? I'm so sorry, Zayn... When did it happen?” I whispered, trying to hold back the tears that were already forming in my eyes.  


  
“ The funeral was three days ago.”He said.   


  
“Zayn, I-” I started, but was cut off by my mom, who just entered the kitchen.   


  
“The ambulance took Matt." She announced, looking at us.   


  
"He'll be okay?" I asked, continuing to clean Zayn's wound with my shaky hands.   


  
“I guess. Well, he's gonna live however.” Mom said. Matt's well being didn't really bother me anymore. Not after what he did, or TRIED to do. At the end of the day, he was a douche-bag.  


 

  
  
The tension in the room was growing more awkward with every second.

 

  
  
In a complete silence I finished disinfecting Zayn's scratch, putting a few patches over it. Once I was done, he smiled, whispering a quiet “Thank you.”  


  
“Yeah...” I nodded, going to wash my hands.  


  
“So, em, Zayn, are you hungry?” Mom asked, trying to play it cool.  


  
“Yeah, I could use some of your food, Miss Styles.” He said, smiling at my mom. She nodded, opening the fridge and pulling out the plate with leftovers from yesterday's dinner.  


  
While my mom and Zayn were trying to communicate somehow, I decided to take a shower. The only place where I can think.  
  
  
  
  
I quietly left the kitchen, going to the bathroom and locking the door behind me. I took off my clothes, which, turns out, was also stained in blood.  
  
I carefully climbed into the shower, turning on the hot water.   
  
  
  
What a day that was, and it's still not over.  
  
  
  
  
***    


 


	10. Chapter 10

*  
  
  
Chapter 10.  
  
  
*  
  
  
When I finished taking a shower, I got dressed and left the bathroom.  
  
  
  
I saw Zayn sitting on the coach in the living room. The TV wasn't on, he was just sitting there, staring into space.  
  
  
I bit my lip, deciding weather I should say something. My legs started walking towards him themselves.  


  
Hearing my footsteps, he turned his head, smiling weakly at me.  


  
“How's your cheek?” I quietly asked, sitting down on the other end of the coach.  


  
“It's fine, thank you.” He said.  
  


 

  
“Zayn,” I spoke after a moment of silence, “Why are you here?”I asked, staring at him. He didn't move.  
  
  
“There wasn't anything between me and my wife.”He suddenly said.  


  
“What do you-”  


  
“Just let me explain.” He sighed. He wasn't looking at me this entire time.  
  
“We were dating, but I never planned on being something serious with her. When she told me about her illness, I had to change my mind. Her parents asked me to do that, to marry her, they knew she won't make it.”He explained slowly, as I listened, sometimes nodding, though he couldn't see it.

  
“So I did. They wanted her to be happy for that little time she had left, and I did everything I could to make this happen.”  


 

  
“So you married her just to make her happy?..”I carefully suggested and Zayn nodded.   


 

  
“Yeah, I did and I don't regret it. But it doesn't mean that I loved her. I thought about her as a friend. A very good friend.”He finished his story smoothly while I tried to digest everything he told me.   


  
It wasn't for real. He didn't love her, he just wanted to make her happy. That's...  


  
“Amazing...” I whispered and he chuckled slightly, pulling out and lighting up a cigarette. I looked at him with displeasure, I didn't like when someone smoked in the house, but I didn't say a word.   


  
“I remember how one morning she woke up, screaming, because her hair was falling off.” He said, softly smiling. “She loved to do different hairstyles." With these word he let out a big cloud of smoke, which made me cough slightly.  


 

  
I waited patiently for him to finish his cigarette. I had a feeling that he's gonna say something else, and even if he's not, I sure as hell will.  


 

  
He slowly put out his cigarette, going back in his previous position, like I wasn't here at all.  


  
“I'm sorry.” I said quietly. “But you didn't answer my question.”

  
  
“I wanted to see you. The reason why I'm sitting on this coach right now, it's because I really wanted to see you.” He said more loudly, finally turning his head to me. “I felt like crap for leaving you like that, okay? But I didn't see any other way out of this situation. I didn't want to involve you into that, so I had to stay quiet, and I'm sorry for not telling you the whole story.” He talked to me like I was a child whose parents tried to teach him something, but he never learned the lesson. “I know, you might not believe me right now, but I really, REALLY didn't want to leave you. I just want you to hear what I'm saying.” The last part he almost whispered, looking into my eyes.   


  
“I...”   


  
“Do you think all what I did was just to fuck you over? No, it wasn't. I would NEVER do that just to hurt you on purpose. And that's why I'm here. To prove it to you. I've made a mistake, but I don't want to make it again.” He spoke heartily. I felt shivers running down my spine from every word he was saying. And I believed him.  


  
“I hear you... What you're saying.” I said quietly, my voice was trembling.  


  
“Okay.”  


 

  
*  


 

  
The evening passed in a rather strange atmosphere. After that conversation with Zayn my view of him turned upside down. Something about him was different now. He has changed. Not just in these few years, because anyone would change in some way during this time, but in those few months while I have not seen him. It's like he's grown up, his behavior was more... Adult now.   
  
But, there was still one question remained, that wouldn't let me rest. The baby. Zayn doesn't know about it, and I have no idea how to tell him. All the time I was on pins and needles, I was afraid that he would come and touch me, and notices my belly, which, thank God, so far was very small.   


  
*  


  
I felt so tired after such a long day, but I couldn't fall asleep. I was laying in my bed, staring at the celling.   


  
Mom put Zayn on the couch in the living room, but he wasn't the only one I was worried about.  
  
I tried to call Louis multiple times this evening, but he wasn't picking up. At first it were just long beeps with no answer, but then operator said he's unavailable. I couldn't help but feeling restless.  
  
Closing my eyes, I felt something in my stomach, it wasn't an actual moving, but it was something. I smiled tiredly, remembering that I have a doctor appointment in a few days.  


  
“What do you think happened with Louis?” I asked quietly, resting my hands on my belly.   


  
Silence.  


  
“Do you think he's okay? Because I hope so. I just don't want him to do something thoughtless, you know? People make stupid mistakes sometimes...”I sighed, turning on my side and closing my eyes, in another attempt to fall asleep.  
  
“Goodnight...” I whispered, drifting away.  


 

  
*  


 

  
I woke up early next morning, feeling an irresistible need to get up and to do something. Basically, to eat, because my stomach started to growl.   


  
I brushed my hair, collecting it into a bun, put on my favorite old sweatpants and t-shirt, and went downstairs.   


  
I couldn't help but peeking into the living room on my way to the kitchen, but Zayn wasn't there.  


  
“Where's Zayn?” I asked my mom, once I was in the kitchen. She was cooking the breakfast, as usual.  


  
“Good morning to you too, Harry.” She said, smiling, as I mumbled a quiet 'sorry' because of my manners. “He left a hour or so ago. Said he has something to do.”She explained calmly. “Are you going to visit Mr. Attwood tonight?”She asked.  


  
“No, maybe tomorrow..?” I said. Mr. Attwood was my doctor, but I didn't want to go to the hospital tonight, ecpecially now, when Zayn was gone somewhere.  


  
“Okay, but don't forget.”Mom said. I nodded, climbing on the kitchen stool, waiting for her to finish cooking breakfast.  


  
To make myself busy, I took off one of my rings and began to roll it from side to side on the table.   


  
“Have you talked to Zayn yesterday?” Mom asked after a few minutes of silence.  


  
“Yeah.”   


  
“What did he say? It was a surprise to see him beating up your friend yesterday.”Mom said, placing a plate with a puree in front of me. Doctor said it's good for my health and for the baby.  


  
“Matt was molesting me.”I said, and mom's eyes widened.   


  
“In that case I probably should thank Zayn.” She said.  


  
“Yeah... Me too.”I was grateful that my mom decided not to ask why Zayn was here, because it would be hard to make something up, since I didn't tell her about his wife.  


  
“Well, in case you're worried, you can call him and ask him where he is.” Mom said and I shook my head no.   


  
“Why not?” She asked. I felt like a girl you were asking about the guy she likes.   


  
“Because. I'm not worried, he can go and do whatever he wants.”I said, lowering my eyes into my plate. Mom smiled at me, but said nothing.  


 

  
*

  
  
  
I tried to call Louis again, but didn't succeed.   


 

  
Till about noon I was laid up on the couch, occasionally changing positions and periodically dialing Louis's number. Now it's really beginning to bother me. If yesterday I thought that maybe he just forgot to charge the phone or something, it is unlikely that today the problem was only that.   


  
“Harry, you feeling alright?” Mom asked, spotting me on the coach in an awkward position with my legs higher than my head.  


  
“Yeah, I'm fine. Louis doesn't answer any of my calls.” I sighed, looking at the phone.  


  
“Maybe he's busy at work?” She suggested, sitting down on the armrest, closely to where my head was.  


  
“Maybe, but he doesn't work 24/7." I said sadly, as mom started carefully massaging my scalp.  


  
“Don't worry, honey. I'm sure he's fine. You need to think about it less, stress isn't good for you right now.” She said softly.  


  
“I know,-” I started, but a knock on the door cut me off. I jumped up, running to see who it was.  


  
I opened the door, and there was Zayn. He was holding a bunch of bags and packages, full of groceries. He smiled at me, stepping inside.   


  
“Zayn, what is- Oh, you didn't have to...” Mom said, looking at all the stuff that Zayn brought.  


  
“Just wanted to thank you." He said, passing by me and heading to the kitchen. He doesn't fail to amaze me.  


 

  
*

 

  
  
While my mother went to hang clothes for drying, I stayed with Zayn at the kitchen, unpacking the groceries.   


  
I began to arrange the packs with all kinds of cereals, placing them on the top shelves. They were almost under the ceiling, and I had to stand on my tiptoes to reach them.   


  
Zayn, watching my pain, quietly came up behind me and gently lifted me up, seating me on his shoulder.   


  
“B etter?” He asked, smiling at me from below.    


  
“Yeah...” I blushed slightly, holding tighty onto his neck with my free hand.   
  


 

  
“I'm done, put me down.” I said, once all the packs were on their places. He did as I said, carefully putting me on the ground.  


  
“You look worried. Are you alright?” He asked, his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me in place.  


  
“Yes, I'm okay.” I nodded, trying to look anywhere but at him.  


  
“Alright,” He said, being so close to me that I could feel a rush of his hot breathing on my lips.  


  
“Zayn, stop.” I whispered, trying to escape.  


  
“I'm not doing anything.” He said innocently.   


  
“Yes, you are.” I insisted. He chuckled, shaking his head “Noop, I'm not.”  


  
I started giggling, pushing him playfully in the chest, “Yes, you are! Let me go!”  


  
“Nah. Not happening.” He smiled, tickling my neck with the tip of his nose.  


  
“Zayn!” I laughed, trying to stop him. It felt so natural, just being with him like that.   


  
“Boys, boys! This isn't the place for games!” Mom said, standing in the doorway of the kitchen and smiling at us. I immediately flinched away from Zayn, returning to whatever I was doing before.   
  
  
  
But the smile wasn't leaving my face for a long time.  
  
  
  
***

 


	11. Chapter 11

*

 

Chapter 11.

 

*

During dinner my phone buzzed. It was a FaceTime call from Louis. I got up from the table, quickly heading to my room. 

I sat on the bed, answering the call. Louis arreared on the screen, he looked a little scruffy as if he just woke up. Seeing him, I smiled, all my worries vanished. He's fine. 

“Why weren't you answerwering my calls? I was so worried, do you have any idea?” I asked him. He sighed, running fingers through his messy hair.

“I'm sorry, I was busy.” He said.

“What were you doing?” I asked, looking at him through the camera. He allegedly avoided meeting my eyes, looking somewhere down, as if he was guilty.

“I talked to the therapist about my problem, and he promised to help me.”He said quietly. I cheered up. 

“That's great, Louis, I'm glad you decided to do that.” I said and he nodded, “Yeah, me too.” 

 

We went silent, I was just looking at him, thinking. 

 

Recently, during our conversations, I felt like I was talking to a total stranger. We got distant from each other, I haven't seen him in real life for two months, just online, not knowing what condition he's in. He keeps it to himself, and if I ask, he becomes uncomfortable to talk about it. I understand that he has a problem, but the fact that he doesn't trust me with this, was a little upsetting. I would like to restore the former trust between us. But I'm afraid it's irreversible. At some point our connection was broken, and hardly ever come back to normal. 

I'm not even talking about the words "I love you", because we no longer fit...

 

“I wish I was there with you.” I said quietly and he shook his head, as if banishing that thought away.

“You need your mom. She knows better, she can help you if something happens, and I'm just always at work.” He says. He repeated this every time we were having this conversation. As if he was afraid that we may meet again. Maybe I just no longer understand him.

“Louis, come on. I-I haven't seen you in so long time, I miss you, and you're saying that I have to stay here because of my mom's help, as if I couldn't cope it myself, I'm not a sixteen years old." I said, hearing him sighing again. He bit his lip nervously, looking at me. 

I understood that he wants to say something. And I had a bad feeling about this. 

“Louis?” I asked, feeling my heartbeat speeds up. 

“Harry, I wanna be honest with you and...I don't think it's gonna work.” He said seriously. I gulped.

“What do you mean?” I asked, feeling my voice is breaking slightly, but I couldn't do anything about it. I already knew where it goes, and saying that I was scared to face it would be a misunderstanding. 

“I mean, us. Can't you see what's going on? It ain't like before, and I don't think it can change for the better." He spoke calmly. 

“I don't know, Louis, I thought we-” I started, but he cut me off.

“I thought so too, but now, I don't see us as the couple in the future, I mean, how? Your pregnant with the baby that isn't mine and...” He sighed. “I'm sorry. I've been wanting to talk about it, but I kept putting it off." 

“Why?” I asked quietly.

“Because I didn't want you to be nervous, but I could no longer push away the truth. I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you, and I didn't change my mind about you, you still mean so much to me, just... I can't. I think it would be better this way." He spoke intermittently, sometimes his voice was breaking, becoming hoarse. 

I was just nodding, unable to speak, fighting my emotions. It was hard. No matter how distant we got, I still didn't want to lose Louis.

“I-I understand... You're r-right...” I whispered, seeing Louis had tears in his eyes as well.

“I'm sorry, Harry... I love you.” He said and ended the call. 

 

I stared at my phone screen, seeing our photo. I didn't change it, I liked this one... To look at it. 

 

I blinked hard, trying to stop the tears but they still poured down my cheeks, slipping on my clothes. 

I sobbed quietly, feeling horrible. It was hard to lose Louis, it was hard to lose anyone in my life. 

 

You get used to people, they become a part of you, and when they go away, it's like you lose a piece of yourself. They take it with them.

 

Suddenly I heard a knock on the door. Trying immediately to calm down, so my voice wouldn't be so shaky, I cleared my throat, wiping away the tears. 

“Who's there?” I asked quietly, my mouth felt dry.

“Zayn.” Was the answer. “Can I come in? Please?” 

I bit my lip, sighing “Yeah..”

I didn't want Zayn to see me like this, but I couldn't tell him to fuck off either. You can't just push people away when you're upset... I thought to myself.

He quietly entered the room, closing the door behind him. I was looking down at my hands, not wanting him to notice my puffy eyes. 

Zayn walked over to my bed, sitting down on its edge. 

“What happened? You left so suddenly.” He said quietly, placing his hand on my knee. I shook my head, “Nothing...”

“Liar. I can see you were crying.” He took me by chin, wiping away my tears with his thumb. 

I gulped, trying to stop crying. It was difficult, my treacherous body shuddered with each sob, and I couldn't open my mouth and say something proper. 

“S-Sorry fro being s-such a crybaby...” I whispered and Zayn smiled softly. 

“You're so adorable...” He said, pulling me closer. I squeezed the fabric of his sweater between my fingers, burying my face into the crook of his neck. He caressed my back, while I tried to calm down.

 

Zayn waited patiently for me to stop sobbing, kissing the top of my head. 

 

I pulled away from him, rubbing my eyes and smiling, feeling somehow better. 

 

Zayn smiled at me, “Want to talk about it?” 

I shook me head no, and he kissed me in the forehead, whispering, “Don't cry...” 

 

I nodded.

 

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a laying position. I let him, resting my head on his chest while he slowly traced lines on my back.

I immediately felt so relaxed and safe, slowly sinking into a slumber.

 

*

 

I woke up in the morning, feeling cold. Without opening my eyes, I pulled up the blanket, trying to fall asleep again, but didn't succeeded because of the sounds coming from the first floor. 

Someone was talking, and at first, I thought it was Robin, returned from the work-trip, but there were few of them, and all were male.

I opened my eyes, looking around the room. Zayn was gone, but his spot on the bed was still warm, probably he left not that long ago. 

I sat down, rubbing his eyes. The weather was foggy, the sky was crawled with clouds. I took off the covers, standing up. 

My stomach attended a strange pain, or rather sensation, not like the feeling of hunger. I sighed, leaving the room. 

Once I was in the hallway, I could hear the conversation more clearly. Two men were talking, whose voices were not familiar to me. 

I went down the stairs, seeing two police officers standing on our doorstep. They were talking to mom and Zayn, and one of the them was writing everything down. 

I quietly walked up to them, standing behind Zayn. 

“Why are the police here?" I quietly asked him.

“Matt reported on me. He regained consciousness last night.” He explained. “Go back to your room, it's not your concern.” He said softly, and I shook my head no. 

“No way. I'm staying here.” I said, crossing my arms on my chest. Zayn sighed, “Alright.”

 

"I'm afraid we'll have to take you to the police station." The officer said, looking at Zayn. My heart trembled. 

“You can't take him, he didn't do anything!” I said, taking a step forward, so officer could see me.

"We've received a complaint about the beating. According to the victim, it happened at this address, and he was attacked by this guy." The policeman said. “Mr, Malik? Please, follow us. We have to discuss it more detailed.” He left the house with his partner by his side, waiting for Zayn outside. 

Before he could move, I grabbed the fabric of his shirt, stopping him. 

“I'm going with you.” I said. Zayn shook his head, placing his hand on top of mine, trying to make me let him go. 

“You can't, Harry, you don't have to, it's my problem. I'll get it done and be right back, yeah?”He moved, but I grabbed him with my second hand.

“I'm going with you! They can't take you! I'll be a witness, because you beat him up only because he molested me!" I was stubborn about it. He sighed, taking my hand and bringing me outside with him. 

 

We walked to the police car, sitting in the back seat and slowly driving off. 

 

*

 

When we arrived at the station, I began to feel anxious. I've never been in a police station, because not once in my life I've commited anything illegal. 

We walked along the dimly lit corridors, following the officer. 

On the chairs, waiting, were sitting all sorts of people, men and women. Someone even cried, there were no children and the atmosphere was peculiar. 

 

We went to the room where they were questioning people. Zayn was called first, and I had to wait in the hallway.

 

I sat down on the chair, holding hands on my stomach. I was hungry, since I didn't have time for breakfast. 

I bit my lip, looking at the guard, who stood before the entrance to the interrogation room. 

 

I can't believe that piece of shit Matt reported on Zayn to he police. How fucking could he? It's his fault and he got what he deserved, fucking pervert.

 

I flinched, hearing the door opened. Zayn left the room, and I was called next, as a witness. 

 

I got up from my chair, passing the guard and entering the room. In the middle of it was a table with two chairs, one lamp was hunging right above it. There was nothing else in the room. 

 

The policeman waited until I sit down and turned to face me, starting the interrogation. 

“Mr. Styles, tell me your version of the story.”He said in a subdued tone. 

“Matt called me that day and offered me a walk in the park.” I started, and officer nodded. “He arrived at my house on his car, to pick me up. I climbed in, but after a while, we didn't move anywhere. So I asked him why, and he started touching me.” I said.

“What kind of touching?” He asked, and I felt uncomfortable to even remembering about it. 

“He touched my thigh, and when I tried to resist, he grabbed my wrists.”

“Alright, continue.” 

“I tried to fight against him, but he was stronger. Then Zayn showed up, he broke the car window, dragging Matt outside. Then they had a fight...” I finished my story, suddenly feeling sick. 

"Zayn was beating him only, or Mr. Krisberg fought back as well?" The officer asked. I felt vomit started raising up my throat slowly. 

 

“I'm sorry,” I said, holding my mouth with my hand, standing up and quickly leaving the room.

 

The restroom was right around the corner, it wasn't difficult to find. I ran into one of the free stalls, falling onto my knees and throwing up.

My stomach was empty since yesterday, so all that came out of me was my gastric juice. I coughed, feeling pulsating pain in my temples and soarness in my throat.

 

I heard footsteps on the tile floor as someone came in. Of course it was Zayn.

 

He knocked on the stall door, asking, “Harry? You okay? What happened?”

 

“I'm fine...” I coughed again, flashing the toilet and leaving the stall. Zayn looked at me, worried. 

 

“Sorry, I'm not the best looking right now...”I wheezed. 

 

“You were throwing up?” He asked and I nodded slowly. 

 

“Let's clean you up...” He took me to the sink, turning on the water. 

 

He wet the hem of his shirt, gently wiping my eyes and mouth with it.

 

“You need to eat something.” He said in process. I sighed, “Zayn, I-”

 

“You were supposed to stay home and eat. Look at you, you're so skinny.” 

 

“Zayn.” I called again, placing my hand on top of his. “It's not that. Not only.” I spoke slowly, not really believing that I was going to tell him the truth. 

He looked at me with raised eyebrow. “What do you mean?” He asked.

 

“I'm... I'm pregnant.” 

 

***


	12. Chapter 12

*

Chapter 12.

*

“You're... Pregnant?..” Zayn asked, quiet surprised. “You mean... How long?”

“Two months.” I said, looking at him. His face had different emotions, but mostly confusion. He took a step back, processing my words in his head. “Wait,” He whispered. “What you're saying is... Am I the father?...” 

I nod. 

He opens his mouth to say something, but no sound comes out. He stands still, looking at the restroom floor.

“Why didn't you tell me before?” He quietly asks. “WHY?” He turns to me, looking into my eyes in search of an answer. 

“I was afraid of your reaction... A-And I wanted to tell you, that's why I came to your apartment that day. But you told me that you had a fiancée, and I just kinda... freaked out. I just didn't want to ruin all that you had with her, and...You said that you were getting married, Zayn! What was I supposed to do? Of course, I decided not to tell you! ” I said honestly.

Zayn sighed, running fingers through his hair.

I waited for him to start yelling at me, but he didn't. Instead, he just spoke, calmly and steady, “You should've tell me anyway. Jesus Christ, what did you think my reaction is gonna be? I would never deny him or you, because it's my child either! I do not throw around such things, Harry!" He threw up his hands, sounding dissapointed. 

“Listen, Zayn, I'm sorry, alright? But, what could you do? If I told you, would you really leave that girl for me or something, knowing that she's sick? I doubt it.”I said, crossing my arms on my chest. 

“At least, I wouldn't leave you alone!” He said loudly.

“I wasn't alone, I had Louis!”

“Oh, really? Well, I've probably missed something, because since I came here, I haven't seen him around!” 

“Because... Because he left as soon as I told him that the baby isn't his.” I sighed, looking down. I felt exhausted. I simply had no energy left to argue with Zayn on. 

"I'm sorry, Zayn." I said, leaving the restroom. 

 

*

 

“What took you so long? Is everything okay? Where's Zayn?” Mom began to pepper me with questions right from the doorway, as soon as I walked into the house.

“I'm fine, mom. ” I said, passing by my mom to the kitchen.

“Where's Zayn? I hope he's not in trouble because of your friend?” Mom asked again, following me.

“Matt is not my friend. He never actually was. And Zayn's fine... I guess. He had to stay at the station for a little longer.” I said, taking a bite from an apple, the first thing I saw.

“You had a fight?” Mom asked, raising her eyebrow. I sighed.

“Well, no, I just told him about the baby.”I said neutrally. 

“What, you mean he didn't know before?” She asked in surprise. I shook my head, feeling that the following will be a lecture about what I did wrongly in my life. 

“He got you pregnant and you didn't tell him a word?” I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Don't roll your eyes, Harry Edward Styles. Do you realize this is serious? It is the responsibility. And the first thing you had to do is to tell Zayn about it." 

"Mom. I know, okay? Zayn already lectured me." I behaved like a teenager in puberty, but I couldn't help at the moment. Mom sighed.

“I know that you know. Or at least I hope so.” She said, leaving me alone in the kitchen.

*

Somewhere after an hour later there was a knock at the door. I got up from the couch, lazily heading to open, as mom was gone on business and I was at home alone. 

It was Zayn. I silently let him in, walking back into the living room, but before I could, he grabbed my wrist. 

“Gonna just ignore me?” Zayn asked.

“I'm not ignoring you.” I sighed.

“You didn't even say 'hi'.” 

“Hi.” I said and Zayn sighed deeply, letting go of my hand. 

"Listen, I'm sorry for yelling at you and- It was just unexpected.” He said quietly. I nodded.

“Yeah...I didn't plan to bombard you with this...” 

“I know. Come here.” He took a step forward, locking me in his arms. I felt his hot breath on my neck, it was heavy, almost burning. 

I wrapped my arms carefully around his waist, placing my chin on his shoulder. 

“Let's start from the beginning?..” He whispered, kissing my neck slightly. 

I nodded silently.

 

***

 

TWO MONTHS LATER

 

“Zayn?” I nuzzled into his neck, making him smile. “Your birthday is tomorrow.” 

“I know, babe.” He nodded, resting his free hand gently on my belly. He was holding his book with the other one.

 

Zayn had to study a lot lately. One month ago we moved to London, so he could go back to work. He's an artist, but he wants to get a second degree and get a job in the office, as the work of artists is quite fickle, and depends on who and how often wants to buy your artwork.

He's working his ass off, while I just waste my time at home. Technically, I can't go to work because of the pregnancy. But there is one more problem, I don't have higher education. 

Because of the group, I couldn't go to University, I only managed to finish high school. Now, when One Direction is "on break", I have absolutely nothing to do. But even when our "break" is over, I won't be able to return to the stage. I'll have a child that I need to take care of. 

All my plans, my whole life was built now on the expectation that I will have a child. It never occurred to me that something might go wrong, and I was afraid of that. 

So I visited the doctor once a week, followed all his recommendations, I was doing basically everything to avoid any accidents.

The earliest date on which it was possible to know the baby's gender has already arrived. But we were in no hurry with this. I attended to the sessions of ultrasound to make sure everything was okay, but I asked the doctor not to tell if it's a boy or a girl that I'm carrying. 

 

“What do you wanna do? It's your day, we can do whatever you want.” I said, brushing his hair with my fingers.

“I want to stay home and be with you.” He says and I sigh softly, “You can be with me any other day. How about a night out with your friends? That crazy friend of yours who's also an artist?” I offered and Zayn chuckled.

“Nick. He's not crazy, just has a weird eye.” He says, kissing my forehead without taking his eyes off of the book. “And I seriously don't want to leave you alone.”

“What bad can happen? I'm not giving birth tomorrow." 

“I know. Well, I don't. Guys that I'm sharing my studio with invited us to the restaurant, but I'm not sure." Zayn says and I almost jump up from the excitement. 

“Are you serious?! Of course we should go!” I exclaimed, bouncing up and down slightly. Zayn looked at me with a smile, putting his book aside. He carefully reached out to me, cupping my face. 

“If you want, we will.” He said before kissing my lips tenderly. My body responds at his touch with a light shiver, I place my hand on his neck, holding him close. He moans quietly when I bite his lip, pulling it back slightly.

His hands sneak under my shirt, going all the way across my belly to my waist, and my ass. I smile into our kiss, reaching down to the fly of his jeans.

He pulls away from my lips, going down to my neck, covering it with butterfly kisses. He carefully lifts me up, holding me under my thighs, and seats me on his lap, so I straddle him. 

“Maybe you will change your mind? Think about what we could do just by staying home...” He whispered against my collarbone. I shook my head, smiling.

“You won't get away that easy.” I say, holding his face and staring into his eyes, before kissing him again slowly. 

He hastily unbuttons my shirt, removing it from my shoulders and carelessly throwing it on the floor. He covers my chest with kisses, making me moan quietly. 

He travels down to the waistband of my sweatpants, pulling them down to my knees. Quickly sliding down his own jeans, he returns back in previous position, hands on my hips. 

Zayn grabs my ass, helping me to raise a little, seating me back down on his member. 

A low moan escapes my throat, I tightly close my eyes, glaring my nails into his shoulders. He still was wearing his t-shirt, and I couldn't wait to take it off. 

“Mhhhhhmm......!” I bit my lip, slowly raising up and down. 

Zayn takes my hand, intertwining our fingers, while wrapping the other one around my dick. He draws slow circles around its top, before moving his hand up and down.

In a slow rhythm, I soon feel familiar spasm shoots through my body, overwhelms me, as I come a few seconds later than Zayn.

I connect my forehead with his, smiling and catching my breath. He wraps his arms around me, holding me like this for some time, before pulling himself out.

I suddenly feel so empty without him inside, whimpering quietly into his neck.

“Shhh...” He reaches out to grab a blanket, wrapping it around my body. “Get some sleep, baby boy. You need it.” I feel how he kisses the top of my head once more, before falling asleep.

 

*

 

I wake up the next morning, feeling bright light hits my eyes. I yawned lazily, before turning around in Zayn's arms, now facing him. He's still asleep. I take a moment to look at him, to study the features of his face. 

I see him every day, but even now, it doesn't seem real. Maybe I'm just dreaming and I can't wake up. If so, I don't want to wake up.

I carefully raise my hand up to his cheek, barely touching his skin. It's prickly, because of his beard, but I don't care, even if it itches when I kiss him. 

He groans quietly at my touch, pulling me closer to him. I smile, kissing his nose once he opens his eyes.

“Hi, beautiful.” He says. His voice hoarse and deep from sleeping. 

“Hi.” I whisper, staring into his eyes. “Happy Birthday.” I say.

“Thank you.” He leans in, pecking my lips, before letting go of me and sitting up slowly. 

“I'll make breakfast.” I say, standing up and walking over to the wardrobe in search of my underwear. 

I hear Zayn chuckle, probably at the view of my ass, because he does this all the time and I'm already used to it.

“I can make breakfast.” Zayn says, standing up as well. I shake my head, “No, it's my turn.” 

"Okay, just try not to burn down the whole kitchen." He teased before disappearing in the bathroom.

*

I managed to make us an omelet without setting anything on fire, and Zayn managed to almost rape me in process. 

That's weird, because in my sweatpants and old ripped t-shirt I could barely turn someone on.

"Zayn?” I called from the kitchen, wiping off the plates. He immediately rushed to my call, “You okay, Harry?” He asked, worried. I smiled at him, saying, “Yes, of course I am.”

I put the plate I was holding in the cabinet, before walking over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Do you wanna get your present now, or later?” I ask.

He thinks for a second, “Later.” He says, I raise my eyebrow.

“Aren't you interested in what it is?” I ask with feigned resentment.

“Of course I am. I just want to leave your gift for dessert. When we get back from the restaurant, we'll open your gift together, okay baby?" 

“Mhm.” I nod and he kisses my lips.

 

*

 

“Zayn, wait. I need to pick up something to wear.” I say, rummaging through my closet.

“You can wear whatever you want, you look awesome however.” He says, appearing in the bedroom, already half dressed and ready.

“I can't wear ANYTHING because of my bun.” I explain, putting on one of my baggy sweaters. 

“It's not sticking out this much, you know?” Zayn says, crossing his arms on his chest, watching me.

“You think?” I stopped moving, so he could see how it looks on me.   
“Yeah. I like you without sweater though.” He grins as I roll my eyes at him. 

“Well, they won't let me in half naked, I'm afraid.” I say and Zayn laughs, taking his ironed shirt from the bed and putting it on.

“I'll be waiting in the car outside, okay?” He asks, kissing my cheek, “Okay.”

Once Zayn left me alone in the room, I walked over to the mirror, lifting the hem of my shirt up. 

My tummy was bulging a little bit, but it's still was pretty small. I gently placed my hand over it, trying to see or maybe feel something. It's magical, and I can't believe it's happening to me. 

He's not even born yet, but the fact that it will happen amazed me. I'll meet a new little man, I'll give him life. It will be our child. 

I smiled to myself, letting my shirt fall and cover me again. Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I left the room.

*

We arrived at the restaurant in 10 minutes. 

Zayn opened the door for me, helping me to get out.

“This place looks awesome...” I said in awe. It really does look awesome. Brick four-storey building, with large windows, the edges of which were decorated with white lilies, illuminated by small bulbs as if the flowers themselves were glowing. 

Though the window glass you can see people enjoying their dinner. 

“Everything for my Queen.” Zayn chuckled as I poked him in the side.

 

We went inside, immediately sinking into the atmosphere of magic and comfort at the same time. 

"Zayn..." I held onto the sleeve of his jacket, looking around. The hall was simply enormous. There were round tables everywhere, with people in all kinds of suits and dresses sitting behind them. On each table stood a candle and a bouquet of lilies. Lilies were everywhere, even hanging on the walls and from the ceiling. 

“Let's go, Ashton and Luke already waiting for us.” Zayn said and I nodded, walking down the hall hand in hand with him.

We approached the table with two young men sitting on it. One of them had long brown hair, but shorter than mine. The other was a cute blond with a pierced lip. Both of them looked handsome.

“Hi, guys.” Zayn said, walking over to hug each of them. Then he pushed back my chair slightly, letting me sit down. 

“Guys, it's Harry, my boyfriend. Harry, it's Luke and Ashton, I share the studio with them.” He introduced us. I smiled at them, “It's nice to meet you guys.” I said.

“Same here. Zayn talks a lot about you.” Ashton said, smiling at me. 

 

“Like, all the time.” Luke adds.

 

*

 

All evening we sat and talked. Food, like everything else in this restaurant, was just great. Everything was going perfect, but at the end of the evening I felt bad. 

It wasn't the urge to vomit, it was a gnawing, cutting pain in the abdomen. It started so strongly and suddenly, I had to grab Zayn's hand, not to bend from the pain. 

“Hey, Harry, you okay?” Luke asked, first to see my weird position.

“Yes... I think s- No! No, I'm not...” I tried to play it cool, until it became unbearable. 

Zayn grabbed my arm, helping me to stand up.

“We need to get you to the hospital, come on...” He said.

“What's wrong? Can we help?” Ashton stood up, coming over to us.

“No, he's just... It's something with the baby.” Zayn said, leading me to the exit.

“We'll pay for everything, be careful out there!” Ashton yelled to us before we left the building.

“What's happening?” Zayn asked me once we were in the car.

“I dunno... But it fucking hurts and I'm scared...” I moaned quietly.

He immediately started the engine, quickly driving away.

 

***


	13. Chapter 13

*

Chapter 13

*

I woke up the next morning in hospital bed.

 

Last day was a little blurry to me. I remember that we went to the restaurant, and then I felt bad, so Zayn brought me here. 

 

My head was buzzing, I had a back pain as well. I looked around the room, in search of a bottle of water, but nothing like that could be found in here. 

I threw off the covers, carefully standing up. I was wearing hospital pyjamas, which was a bit big and weird for me. 

Stepping on the cold as ice floor, I reached the bathroom, turning on the water and washing my face. 

 

“What are you doing? You should stay in bed.” Zayn's voice made me flinch from suddenness.

 

“Maybe I would have done that if there was at least a drop of drinking water anywhere." I said. 

Zayn sighed, taking my hand, “Come on, you need to sit down.” He tried to pull me out of the room, but I resisted.

 

“I'm not an invalid, Zayn. What's wrong? Explain it to me." I demanded, looking at him. Something was up, I could tell by his eyes.

 

He sighed, biting his lip. “Do you remember what happened yesterday?” He asked.

 

I nodded, “Yeah, we went to celebrate your birthday, and then I got sick.” I told him.

 

“You don't remember what happened in the hospital?” He asked and I shook my head no.

 

“Zayn. Just tell me. Please.”I asked quietly.

 

“You were bleeding. Something went wrong with the baby." Zayn said and my heart sank. 

 

“But... What is that suppose to mean?..” I barely spoke, feeling physically sick. I placed my hand on my stomach, as if someone was going to take it away from me.

 

“Nothing yet, but the doctor said that it's not a very good sign. Something went wrong during pregnancy, and if it happens again... They said you'd have to stay in the hospital." He said quietly. I started shaking my head repeatedly, brushing that thought away. I felt lamp stuck in my throat, my knees were weak. 

 

Seeing my reaction, Zayn took a step closer to me, wrapping his arms around me safely.

 

I buried my face in the crook of his neck, hot tears were rolling down my cheeks, burning my skin. Zayn was caressing my back gently, trying to calm me down, but it didn't work very well.

 

“Everything is going to be alright... It's not a sentence, you hear me? Still gonna be okay...." He whispered into my hair. I shook my head slightly, unable to speak properly.

 

“N-no, Zayn... I w-was bleeding... What if... What if it means that he's gonna d-die?...” I sobbed.

 

“Don't say that. He's gonna be alright. Both of you, okay? You'll be fine.”

 

I nodded slowly, though I highly doubted it.

 

*

 

In the next few months I had to visit the hospital more often. Everything just turned upside down, our tranquil life turned into one big appointment with a doctor. 

Zayn wouldn't leave me even for a minute. He had to quit work in the studio, to be able to be with me. 

I tried to change his mind about it, but he was relentless. 

But despiting all of that, the baby was fine, according to the doctor. I regularly experienced abdominal pain, vomiting and headache, but it was nothing to me, as long as he was alive.

 

*

 

I woke up from my slumber, hearing Zayn's phone ringing. 

Standing up from my uncomfortable position that caused me pain in the neck, I went over to the kitchen counter where his phone was.

On the smartphone screen displayed the name "Ashton". I picked up.

“Hey, Ashton. It's Harry, Zayn's showering right now.” I said, still feeling a little sleepy.

“Oh, alright. Well, I can talk to you then. How are you feeling? We haven't see you since that night.” Ashton asked.

“Not so good, but we're trying to be positive about it.” I said quietly.

“Well, then my suggestion would be a bit inappropriate, I guess.”

“What is it?” 

“I wanted to invite you on a little trip. Luke's parents have a house on the sea shore, and we were going to go there this weekend." Ashton explained. That idea was actually really nice. It's June, and because of the baby problems we never even once went somewhere further than a hospital. 

“I'll talk to Zayn about it, but thank you fro calling, I think we're in.” I said, cheered up a bit.

“Okay, cool. I'll call tomorrow morning, or Zayn can call me himself anytime.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Bye, and... Good luck with everything.”

“Thank you, Ashton.” I said and hang up, feeling the smell of lavender spreading across the room, which meant Zayn was out of the bathroom.

“Who was it?” He asked, wiping his hair off with the towel.

“Ashton. He asked if we want to go with him and Luke to the sea shore. Luke's parents have a house there or something.”I explained, placing my hands on my now big enough belly. Because of its size, I couldn't even sleep properly, it always felt like a really heavy weight was attached to my body, which actually was true at some point.

“That's nice, but, what about the baby? It will be your time to give birth soon." Zayn said, making me sigh heavily. 

“Doctor said it's on the next week, or even later.” I tried to convince him. I really wanted to get out somewhere for the first time in these seven months. 

“I don't know, Harry. Do you really want to take that risk? I mean, it's far away from here, a few hours of drive probably. If something happens, we wouldn't be able to go back immediately.”He said, hanging his wet towel on the door. Actually, he was right. It was a risk. And even though I was sick of being home, I couldn't put our child at even bigger risk. 

I sighed, “Yeah... You're right.” 

“Hey,” Zayn approached me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “We can still go. Let's visit the doctor, ask whether it is safe. If so, then why not?” He said, making me smile weakly. 

“Thank you...” I whispered, nuzzling into his neck.

“For what?” He asked quietly, massaging my scalp gently with one hand.

“Everything. For being with me. For all the things you do for me. It's... A lot.” 

“I love you, I can't think of treating you differently.” He said softly, kissing the top of my head. 

“I love you too...”

 

*

 

The next day, early in the morning we went to the hospital. 

I'm so used to this kind of atmosphere and the constant smell of medicine, that I don't even care anymore. Walking through the perfectly white corridors, we reached the room in which I was already a millions of times. Seeing us, my doctor smiled.

"Hello there, how are we doing?" He asked, getting up from his chair and heading to the sink to wash his hands. 

"Everything is fine, doctor." I said, sitting down on the settee. Zayn sat down next to me, holding my hand. 

“You take your prescribed pills?" He asked, putting on gloves, and I nodded. 

“Yeah, but we wanted to actually ask you, if I can leave the city this week. If it's safe, and I won't start giving birth earlier.” I explained.

“Okay, I hear you. Well, let's find out then.” He said, helping me to lay down. 

He pulled up my shirt, smearing my stomach with a special cream for the ultrasound examination. After this, he sat down on a small chair next to the couch, picking up the scanner and leaning it to my tummy. 

“Is that okay?” He asked. I nodded, looking at Zayn, who was standing next to me during the process.

The doctor slowly ran the scanner over my skin, looking at it, then at the testimony of the device. 

“Everything seems pretty good... Approximate date of birth... June 30.” He said. 

“It's on the next week.” Zayn said and doctor nodded. 

“Yep. I think it's safe to leave, very unlikely something bad can happen.”He said, handing me a tissue. 

“Baby isn't in danger anymore?” Zayn asked, following the doctor to his table.

“It's always a little percent of danger, you can never be absolutely sure. But, according to what I saw, you're fine for now.”Doctor said. 

“Thank you.” I said, before leaving his cabinet. 

“Of course, be careful out there.” He waved to us.

 

*

 

I was nervous about going on the road. I had a bad feeling that something might happen. The very realization that I was going to give birth soon scared the fuck out of me. 

I was planning on doing it without anesthesia, in a natural way, and it promises to be very painful. 

“Harry? Honey, you're ready?” Zayn asked softly, appearing in the room. He was fully dressed, with bags in his hands.

“Yeah, I think so.” I sighed. 

“Good, Ashton's waiting for us in his car outside. Lemme take it.” He said, taking my old backpack from me and putting it on his shoulder.

“I can carry it myself...” I tried to protest. 

“No, this is not a discussion. I'm taking it.” Zayn said, leaving the room and I followed him.

Ashton's car was pretty big. It was a jeep, with a big trunk and four seats for landing. 

He saw us and got out, taking our stuff from Zayn and putting them in the trunk. 

“Where's Luke?” Zayn asked, shaking Ashton's hand. 

“He's already there, waiting for us. Come on, get in the car.” He said.

 

Ashton sat in the driver's seat, Zayn and I took seats in the back. As soon as we moved on, I felt drowsy, laying my head on his knees, and falling asleep to the sounds of their voices. 

*

I woke up two hours later, discovering that we're still on the road. 

A little frustrated at this fact, I turned my head to look at Zayn. He smiled at me, brushing my curls back from my face. 

“Good morning, sleepy head.” He said softly. 

“Good morning.” I said, yawning. “Are we there yet?”

“No, baby boy.” 

“How many more left?" I asked, turning my head to Ashton. 

“Somewhere around three hours more.” He said, making me sigh.

“Where are we going exactly?” I asked, while Zayn started to braid my hair. 

“Cornwall. It's a little more than 300 miles away from London.” Ashton explained. 300 miles is fucking a lot. 

“Are you hungry?” Zayn asked. I shook my head no.

“No, I'm fine.”I didn't eat unless I was hungry, which I wasn't right now. But Zayn thought that I eat too little. Maybe that's true. I lost a lot of weight lately. 

“Okay.” He said.

*

The road was long and painful even with the stops. My back was killing me, and I probably had a bruise on my right side, because it was the only side I could lie on. 

As soon as we arrived, I first got out of the car, of course with the help of Zayn. Pregnancy was really hard. I couldn't rise myself, nor tie my shoe without his help. It bothered me, I felt that I'm giving him too many problems. 

“You okay?” Zayn asked, holding my hand. 

“Yeah, I'm fine.” I said, seeing Luke approaching us. 

He was half undressed, with only some shorts on. Noticing me, he ran over to give me a hug.

“Oh, your belly is so big! How far along are you?" He asked, kneeling down in front of my stomach. 

“Ninth month.” I said, smiling at him.

“That is, you will soon give birth?" He raised an eyebrow at me and I nodded. 

"Yes, next week." 

"Holy shit..." He said in awe, touching my stomach. 

“Luke!” Ashton yelled to him from the back of the car. “Little help here?”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.” 

*

After moving all the stuff in the house, we decided to have lunch. Ashton and Zayn were roasting meat on the grill outside while I sat with Luke in the living room. 

 

“So how does it feel?” Luke asked, plucking the strings on his guitar. He loved to play music, as I recently learned. 

“You mean, being pregnant? That's hard.” I said, enjoying the light breeze that blew in through the open doors of the veranda. 

"What is it like?" He asked, biting his lip where his piercing was. Luke wasn't much younger than me or Ashton, but for me, he was like a kid. Perhaps it's a side effect of pregnancy. 

“If your tummy was tied up with a ten-pound ball, something like this." 

“Wow, that's hardcore.”He says and I laugh slightly, “Yeah.”I nod, looking at his guitar. 

“You like music. That's good. I loved it too, I was even in a band not that long ago.” I said after a while. Luke's eyes lit up.

“Really? What were you doing?” He asked, moving closer to me.

“I was singing. But my...eh.. Friend. He knew how to play guitar. He was so good at it.”I said, remembering Louis. I felt slightly sad at the thought of him. I missed him. Not as a lover, but as a person. He was so sweet and kind, and I missed talking to him as a close friend. 

I smiled weakly at my thoughts. I hope he's happy now. Because I am.

“That's cool. I want to form a group too, with my friends.” Luke said quietly.

“That's awesome. But how about the studio? I thought you're working with Ashton?”

“No, not exactly. I mean yeah, technically I am there most of my time, but I'm not as good at drawing as him. He just kinda takes me to work with him when I am free from college." He explained.

“Guys! Lunch is ready!” I hear Ashton's voice from the kitchen, as we both stand up from the floor. 

Luke put his guitar on the sofa before running towards the kitchen. I followed right after.

 

*

 

Lunch, like the rest of the day was just amazing. At sunset we went for a swim in the sea. The water was so warm and pleasant, but I couldn't swim, only walk in the water. But at the moment, that was enough for me. 

After swimming, we sat on the shore, near the fire. It was just like a scene from a movie, so beautiful and peaceful. 

Luke played guitar, and we all listened attentively to him. The guy had a great voice, I thought. He might be a singer.

Placing my cheek on Zayn's shoulder, I felt warm and safe in his arms. His arm was wrapped around me, as he was drawing circles with his finger on my belly.

“Maybe we should go to bed now? You look tired.” He asked quietly.

“Mmhhm.” I murmured in response. I really was tired, that was a long day. 

We both got up, and after saying Good Night to both Luke and Ashton, we went inside of the house. 

 

***


	14. Chapter 14

*

Chapter 14.

*

“Hey,” Zayn whispered, once we were inside. “I have an idea.”

“What is it?” I asked, looking at him in the darkness. I couldn't see anything except his dark silhouette, since all the lights in the house were off, which was kinda creepy.

“Let's take a bath. Did you see that thing upstairs? We both easily fit in it." He said, taking my hands in his. 

“You sure that's a good idea?” I whispered, looking at Luke and Ashton through the glass door.

“It's the best idea.” Zayn said, pulling me up the stairs. 

 

*

 

“Let me...”He whispered, lifting the hem of my shirt over my head.

Zayn himself was completely undressed already. He stepped into the bathtub first, holding my hand and helping me to do the same. I slowly sank into the hot water, feeling instant relief. Zayn gently wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing my back to his chest. 

I exhaled deeply, leaning my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. 

“Feeling alright, baby?” He asked, running fingers through my slightly wet hair. 

“Yeah.” I nodded, giving in into his touch.

“You're so beautiful, you know that?” He whispered into my ear, making me smile lazily.

“I look like a walking balloon." I said quietly, making him chuckle. 

“My gorgeous walking balloon.”He said, kissing my temple softly. 

 

We drowned into a peaceful silence for a moment. 

 

“Zayn...” I whispered quietly. “I'm scared.”

“Of what?” 

“I don't know if I can do it...” I sighed, feeling Zayn's hands on my belly. 

“Shhh... I know you can. You can do anything, you carried this child for nine months. Everything will be fine. I'll be there with you, okay? We'll make it together." He spoke softly. 

“What if something happens? What if he will be born unhealthy? I mean, why I've had all these bleedings if he's okay?" I spoke, feeling my voice trembling and breaking. 

“Hey.... Shhhh... It won't happen. It won't, alright?” He slightly tightened his grip on me. I turned on my side, burying my face into his neck.

“I hope so...” I sighed.

*

After a while. when the water became cold and I was too tired, we decided to go to sleep. 

Coming out of the bathroom, I walked up to our bedroom's window. The beach was empty, the fire was extinguished. Must be Ashton and Luke already came home and went to bed. 

“What are you looking at?” Zayn asked quietly, making a bed for us.

“Luke and Ashton are gone.” I said, hearing Zayn chuckle slightly.

“What?” I turned to face him.

“You know that there's only one bedroom except from ours?” He asked, smiling. 

“No... You mean they...?” I blushed slightly as Zayn nodded. “Oh... I would never have thought." 

“Well, Ashton desperately trying to deny it." He said, laying down and opening his arms for me. 

“Why?”I laid down by his side, placing my head on his chest.

“I dunno. They behave like children. I mean, it's obvious that they have feelings for each other." He said and I smiled, raising my eyes to look at him. 

“Well, you're the expert on this area now?" 

“I used to work with them.” Zayn said, leaving a kiss at the top of my head. “And I saw things they do together, so I can tell.” 

“Maybe then you'll give them a relationship advice?" 

“Maybe I will.” He pulled up the blanket, wrapping it around me. “Sleep, baby. It's late already.”

 

*

 

“Zayn...” I moaned quietly through my sleep. It was the middle of the night, but I was awake. At the bottom of my stomach progressed a strong, nagging pain, which was getting worse with every minute. “Zayn, please, wake up... ” I shook him slightly. 

After a moment, he began to move and turned slowly to face me. 

“What's wrong?...” He asked, half asleep, rubbing his eyes.

“I think it's started...” I whispered, closing my eyes, breathing deeply.

I had a "training bout" before, but now it's different. It hurts a lot more now. 

“Are you sure?” Zayn seemed a lot more awake now. 

“Yes, I-I am.” 

“Okay, okay... Just... I'll go get Ashton, maybe he knows what to do.” Zayn said, running out of the room. 

I wasn't able to lie still, I sat up slowly, holding my stomach. 

“Jesus, it hurts...” I muttered quietly. I was scared shitless. It was childish kind of fear. The one you experience in your childhood, when you go to the doctor or something. You're so afraid, as if they gonna kill you or hurt you so bad, and that's what I felt. Like I wouldn't be able to make it.

Few minutes later, which seemed like forever to me, Zayn, Ashton, along with Luke showed up in room. All looked at me with wide eyes, clearly unaware of what to do.

Ashton was the first to ran over, kneeling down in front of me.

“Okay, em... Listen. Harry, you need to breath, okay? In and out.” He said. 

I did as he told me, not like I didn't know that I need to breath before.

“Alright, Luke, bring us some towels, and Zayn... Come here.” Ashton said, standing up to be at the one level with Zayn.

“Bout can last for several hours, I'm not exactly sure. Be with him while I try to call... somebody. Maybe ambulance. Understand?" After giving instructions, he disappeared from the room. Zayn sat his position in front of me. 

He took my hands, holding them tight.

“Why now? Doctor said it won't happen till next week.” He said. 

“You can kill him as soon as we come back....” I said, squeezing his hands. 

“Yeah, I will.” Zayn nodded. “How does it feel? I mean, you can handle it, right? It's very likely that we won't get any professional help too soon... But Ashton will help, I hope...” 

“It feels bad, and I'm scared...” I whined quietly.

“Where's Ashton?” Luke asked, appearing in the room with a bunch of towels in his hands. 

“He left for a call.” Zayn said, as Luke slowly walked over to us. 

“Hold on, Harry... He knows what he's doing.” Luke said, putting his hand on my knee.

“Ashton is a doctor?” I asked, looking at him in hope. Luke shook his head, “No, not exactly, but he had some practice, trust me. Plus, his mom is a doctor.”

I sighed, “Is there any hospital nearby? Anywhere?” 

“No... We're too far away.”

“Great...” I threw my head back, feeling pain growing stronger. 

“Okay, okay... No panic, we got this.” Ashton showed up, holding the phone in his hand. “How's it going?” He asked, obviously speaking to me.

“I'm alright... I think....” I said, when the attempts stopped for the second. It felt as a taut string in my body, which was pulled every time on and on, but it wasn't torn, only hurting. 

“Good, good. As soon as the childbirth starts, we'll need hot water. In the meantime, we just have to wait..." He explained, looking at us. 

“How long I have to wait?” I asked. 

“It can be hours... We could've actually try and get you to the nearest available hospital, but it's pretty risky. If we wouldn't have enough time, you'd have to give birth right in the car.” Ashton said apologetically. 

“Okay... Okay.” I nodded, taking all my might not to scream.

*

I don't remember exactly how much time has passed. Probably a few hours, because the outside has already blossomed. 

“ASHTON!” I yelled, when once again he fucking disappeared somewhere. 

He told me to lay down, and put the pillows under my head and my back. I did as he said, Zayn and Luke were with me the entire time. Zayn was holding my hand, and Luke was bringing stuff whenever Ashton told him to do so.

“I'm here! Sorry, I had to make sure...”Ashton said, walking over to me.

“Make sure in what?” Zayn asked, a little tired. Well, during these hours I almost broke his hand, so it's understandable.

“That we are doing everything correctly. I had to climb to the attic, because it's the only place with Internet connection." He explained, hastily unbuttoning my pants. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, though didn't stop him.

“We need to take these off.” He pulled my pants down carefully. 

“How do you know it's a time already?” Luke asked.

“The screams became louder.” Ashton said simply. “Where's the towels?”

“Here.” Zayn immediately handed him few.

“Okay. Now, you need to lift your hips up so I can put it under you." 

I did. 

He put one towel underneath me, and covered my whole lower body with the other big one.

I tightly clutched in the hand of Zayn, feeling the mounting pressure and pain. 

“AHHHHHRGH!!!!” I couldn't stay quiet anymore, I just had to scream, because, goddammit, that was hard.

“Push! Push!” I heard Ashton's voice somewhere from afar. I felt like I'm gonna pass out.

It felt like if through my genitals passed a discharge current. A very strong discharge current. My whole body was covered in sweat, drops dripping on my forehead. I felt so tired and exhausted, wanted only one thing: for it all to stop. 

I heard Zayn talking to me, but I didn't understand what he was saying. My whole being was concentrated on one process. 

 

Minutes later, or maybe even hours, because the time dragged incredibly slowly and grievously , I heard a loud baby cry, feeling instant relief. All my muscles continued to throb from the tension, but it was no longer so unbearably painful. 

I closed my eyes, panting. The whole bed under me was stained with blood, same as the hem of my sweater, but I didn't care. 

I drowned in the feeling of my heartbeat slows down. 

It started to rain outside.

 

*

 

I woke up feeling weak. The room around me had a dim lighting, just one table lamp was on. I was very hungry. And judging by the fact that it was dark outside, I slept the whole day, but still didn't feel rested. 

Out of habit, I put my hands on my stomach. It was so unusually flat that it's even scared me a little. 

I turned my head slightly, to find Zayn sitting on the armchair with the baby in his hands. 

“Zayn...” I called quietly. He lifted his head, gently smiling at me. “Is he okay?..”

“It's her. And yes, she's fine. Completely." He stood up, carefully walking over to me.

He sat at the edge of the bed, handing me a small miracle that was my daughter. I took her in my hands, ever so carefully, as if she was made out of the glass. She's kinda was, children at this age are very fragile. 

“She's so... She's amazing, Zayn....” I whispered, absolutely amazed. She was so small, so beautiful, like a doll. Her large green eyes looked at me with interest. 

“She has your beautiful eyes.” He said softly. 

“Oh my god...” I felt hot tears rolling down my cheeks. I've never experienced something like this before. It's just incredible. The feeling that you gave someone life is priceless. 

“Let me take her, I think you need a rest.” Zayn said, carefully taking the baby from my hands. 

“How are we going to name her?” I asked.

“We'll think about it in the morning.”He said, walking around the bed and laying down next to me, putting the baby between us. 

I yawned, looking at the little beauty in front of me, drowning into a deep sleep again.

*

The next morning I woke up more refreshed, feeling a lot differently. I mean, of course, there was a little thing that has changed.

There was no one in the bedroom except from me. I carefully stood up, heading to the first floor. Walking down the stairs, I could hear the voices of Zayn and Luke. 

I found them in the kitchen. Zayn was rocking the baby in his arms as Luke stood closely next to them, carefully examining the child. What about Ashton, he was cooking something on the stove. 

I walked over to them, smiling. 

“Here's our mommy." Zayn said with a smile. 

“Hi...” I sighed quietly, pressing my body to him. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked. 

“I'm okay. Better than ever.” I looked down at our daughter, who was sniffling peacefully in her daddy's arms.

“Look at who's awake!” Ashton exclaimed, noticing me. He wiped off his hands with a towel, approaching and pulling me into a tight hug. “Hope you're okay?” He asked.

“Yeah. Thank you Ashton. For everything. It would be much harder without you.” I said, making him smile.

“No problem, contact us." He said. “ I made you a porridge. It should help you during lactation." 

I smiled at Ashton in surprise. He knows a lot. Even more than I do.

“Thank you.” I said. 

*

After Breakfast and a long packing, we were finally ready to go home. I wrapped the baby in the plaid, rocking her lightly in my arms. Almost all of the time she slept, but that's okay, she's tired too. 

"Honey, let's go. Ashton is already immersed our stuff in the car." Zayn said, entering the room. 

"She's so beautiful, isn't she? Like you." He carefully approached me.

"But she has your eyebrows." I said, unable to tear my eyes off of her. 

"You got a name?" Zayn asked, hugging me from behind. 

"Let's call her Anabella? In Latin it means beautiful." 

"I like that." He whispered, kissing my neck. 

 

*

 

Sitting in Ashton's car, everyone was in the pretty high spirits, talking and laughing. This trip has brought us a lot closer together. 

It was going to be a long road, but our young family had an even longer adventure of a lifetime ahead of us.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO.... I guess that's all for now. This is the first story I've finished, because usually I never have enough spirit to finish anything. But I did it.
> 
> Tell me what you think about this story. If you liked, or didn't like something, your opinion is always welcomed.
> 
> Thanks for reading. (´• ω •`)


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